TGO: The Early Years
by FromScratch413
Summary: A series of prompts about Japril's early years within the world of "The Girls Only," a multi-chapter fic currently in progress.
1. Surrender: In Which Bellie's Arm Breaks

**Hi guys! So there are bits and pieces of Japril history in "The Girls Only" that I just allude to. Because they don't fit in a chapter and/or because I know a part of what happened, but not all the details. When I started the Fluff Project for hiatus, I said I wouldn't mind TGO related prompts...to help me figure out the history or force me to write it. I got a couple, so I decided to upload them separate from TGO because, well, they are different. "TGO: Early Years" felt right because well, I've said before that at this point in time I'm not interested in writing the girls too old. Unless my muse goes are also going to be a little bit different than "The Bellie Stories," even though some of the time overlaps. Because that was me writing this world very early. So forgive mistakes with time ect. Trust these chapters over The Bellie Stories, for now. Once TGO is finished, or maybe before, I'm going to go over everything and type up a history of sorts, just for myself.**

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**This prompt asked for the story of Bellie breaking her arm. It also is probably the night Laidy was conceived...unless it was the next morning...meaning it takes place in mid-late May, I'm pretty sure. That's what I mean by "Please ignore timing in 'The Bellie Stories' for now." Because I need you to ignore "Valentine's Future" for you to believe this. **

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"Arabella! WAIT!" I screamed at my oldest daughter, as her sister's sippy cup fell to the sidewalk. Tenley immediately started crying, which was unusual for her, but she didn't feel well today. "Alright sweetheart, it's OK…shhh. Shhh!" I let go of Tee's hand, and squatted down with baby Braelyn to pick up the cup. I looked up from my spot on the ground quickly, to make sure Bellie had listened, and saw it happen in my mind before I watched it with my eyes. My rebellious diva was laughing hysterically, headed straight toward a huge crack. "Bellie! SLOW DOWN!" But I was too late. Face first, at a pretty high speed, she flew off the tricycle.

The babies started crying just watching it, before Bellie herself reacted. I took a deep breath, running toward her, throwing the cup behind me.

"Ow! Ow! Ow!" Bellie was breathing fast, doing her best to hold in the tears. But she had flipped in the air and landed on her side. Her arm was broken in at least two places, I guessed. "Mama, it hurts!" she started to cry as soon as she saw me.

"I know. I know, sweetie. Come on, let's go visit daddy at work. I think you need a cast."

* * *

Somehow, I got a tricycle back in the garage and three kids into the van and to my E.R, with juice and diaper bags in tow. I had one month to go before my maternity leave ended. Oh, how I'd missed my E.R. And boy, had it missed me too, I saw, as I walked in, with an infant on my chest and two toddlers crying in agony at my side. I'd found an old sling to put Bellie's arm in until she was seen, but we looked a mess.

The E.R. looked worse. Multiple victims of a crash involving a school bus were unloading just as we pulled up, and when we walked in I saw that the pit was full and the waiting area was more crowded than it had ever been on my watch. I couldn't pull rank or use my name if I wanted to, there was no one around to pull rank with. "OK, beauties…looks like we're gonna have to wait," I sighed and went to sign in at the empty desk.

I had a view of the beds in the pit, and after two hours of trying to soothe both Bellie and Tenley to no avail, I spotted a random physician's tablet abandoned and signed in with my code. As I handed out baggies of emergency Goldfish snacks, I checked the beds in the pit and realized pretty quickly that I could hypothetically discharge three beds right then, just by giving them pain meds, if only I didn't have three babies attached to me and had a pair of scrubs on.

Suddenly, Braelyn started wailing and I remembered it was time for her to eat. So, I added breastfeeding to the long list of circus acts I would perform that day, not that anyone was paying attention. Or they weren't, until my nipple came out, it seemed. Brae wasn't eating two minutes before a woman with dark curly hair that I'd never seen before approached me. "Maim, what do you think you're doing?"

"Seriously? I'm breastfeeding my baby girl. And, my daughter has a broken arm, I mean I gave her meds at home but I've been waiting two hours for…"

"Maim, we'll get your daughter seen as soon as possible. And you can breastfeed here all day long. But I don't think you're authorized to be on that tablet." She gestured at my knee.

"Oh that err…" Technically I wasn't authorized to be on it, and I had never been good at breaking rules. But I was the best at spotting Jackson Avery's eyes across a room. "Jackson! Over here, please!" I hoped my voice was enough, my hands were busy at the moment. It was, thank God.

"April, what are you…" He kissed me hello and the other doctor's eyes widened in surprise.

"Oh Dr. Avery this is your…this is your wife? I assumed your wife was…" He stared at her, blinking as he always did when he was anticipating someone putting their foot in their mouth. There were a million ways to finish that sentence, but any way she chose she'd lose. Thinner? I'd had a baby less than 6 months ago. Cleaner? I had three babies under four; I'd like to see her find time to shower. Less white? He'd almost ended up in jail a couple of times when people stared at us too long.

"Daddy, I broked my arm!" Bellie whined and burst into tears again, suddenly. She loved her daddy's attention.

"April, why didn't you _call_ me? At least when you got here?" he snapped. Only afterward did he pick up his daughter.

"Uh, bus crash happened as soon as we got here. Would you have picked up? Oh, and beds three, eight and eleven really just need pain management, someone should take care of that." I burped the baby and positioned her on my other side.

Dr. Foot-In-Mouth blinked. "Mrs. Avery we'll get your daughter seen right away if…"

"Doctor. Dr. Avery. My wife is the person who's job you're supposed to be doing right now, Dr. Kerrigan," Jackson informed. "Will you please go check and discharge those beds, and then help three other patients that aren't in my family? I've got them. This waiting room should not be this crowded." Even with his three-year-old resting her head on his shoulder, my husband scared the hell out of this woman.

"Y-y-yes-s-s-s Dr. Avery, right away."

"How'd you break your arm diva? Let's go take care of that. We're gonna go get a picture taken of it, and we'll have one of Aunt Callie's interns put a bright pink cast on your arm so daddy can draw funny faces on it, how does that sound?"

"I falled off bike, go flyin'. It hurts, daddy." She was so much like her dad, especially in front of him. She wasn't going to cry from pain. Just for attention.

"Ohhh mommy wasn't watching?" he jabbed at me.

"More like Bellie wasn't listening, but can we just get her cared for, please?"

"Absolutely. How about daddy and Bellie go get this taken care of and then go get some ice cream, does that sound good diva?"

"Babe, please don't reward her…I know I was…but she wasn't…"

"I-ceem? Tene I-ceem?" my two-year old squeaked, quietly.

I shot daggers at my husband and looked at Tenley. "Princess your tummy doesn't feel well, remember? Mommy's gonna make you soup and we have ice pops. Then we'll watch a movie before bed Jackson, I can just take her and get the arm handled. I've been with them here all afternoon. I can handle it."

"Obviously you can't April, or you wouldn't be here in the first place. And you just sat here for two hours when you could've…"

"WHAT? Put the cast on myself? Bus crash, Jackson. There was a bus crash. Victims were unloading when we got here and I didn't expect the pit to be so poorly managed. I didn't hire an utterly incompetent temporary me, YOU did."

All three of the girls burst in to tears, and I felt horrible. I couldn't even think of the reason we were having this fight, besides Jackson's sudden bad mood.

"Whatever April. We've got this. You just take the other two. I got my buddy. Right Bellz?" She nodded and turned her head from me, as he kissed her cheek and turned to leave.

"Jackson Harper, you have two other babies you need to say hi to." I whispered it sharply enough to get his attention. He came back.

"Hi Tenley. Thank you for visiting me. I will see you later." He knelt down and kissed her cheek.

"Bye bye Tee." Arabella said, from her father's arms.

"Book dad?"

"Yeah, Tee. I will read a book with you later. I love you."

He took Brae from me to kiss her and made sure Arabella said bye to me, but he didn't acknowledge me again. I shook my head as I watched them go down the hall. "Alright, let's go angels. Mama's gonna make chicken noodle soup. So yummy." I threw the tablet on to one of the chairs I abandoned. Logging it in wasn't my problem. Neither was Bellie right now, it seemed.

* * *

Poor Tenley couldn't get ice cream off of her mind all night, but eventually was content to watch "The Little Mermaid" and eat an ice pop with me after dinner. It was a quiet night. Though we sent out a few texts asking about Bellie, some at Tenley's request, none were answered. But daddy and Bellie came home just before bedtime, so I did prayers quickly and took a glass of wine to bed because the baby would be asleep for hours. It had just been one of those days.

"Babe. I'm sorry." He was apologizing as soon as the door shut. "She told me she wasn't listening. I just…I get mean when I'm nervous. And there was a lot going on today."

"But you believe the three-year-old over your wife."

"I believed you I was just…stressed before you came and…"

"So you take her from me? Even though I had it handled…I just needed your doctors to…"

"I know. I know. You'll be back soon."

"You better not hire that woman."

"She's what we've got, for now."

"You couldn't text me to say 'the ice cream Tee's not here for is delicious?'" I spit.

"I was an asshole, all day." He crawled into bed next to me and tried to kiss my neck.

"Yeah, you were. Get off me, Jackson." I squirmed away.

"I love you." He wrapped his arms around me again, knowing I was always quick to relent.

"I always love you, I just don't like you sometimes."

"I bet you were scared, I should've been there for you."

"It's a broken arm. She'll be fine. Goodnight, Jackson." I tried to turn away but he rolled me over, climbing on top of me.

"Babe. I miss you. Don't you miss me?" Translation: "April, I want to have sex. Don't you want to have sex?"

"You don't deserve sex tonight." I wasn't in the mood to play games.

"You're right, I don't. But you do," he whispered, and my breath caught. I did. And I wanted it. I missed him, and we hadn't seen much of each other these past three days because his work schedule had him sleeping at the hospital.

Three days was a long time for us, even four years into our marriage. We were still best friends. We were so in love even when we drove each other crazy. But every relationship has a different foundation. Ours was founded on friendship and sex, once we realized our mural physical attraction. So sex was important to both of us.

"Let me apologize right, sweetheart. Vous êtes si belle." No, not the French. He always hooked me with the French.

"Oh yeah?" I sighed and let him kiss me.

"Oui. Je ne te mérite pas."

"Merry what?" I gasped, as he pulled my nightgown up over my head and my underwear down my legs pretty quickly.

"I don't deserve you."

"Not today you don't." I wasn't going to lie just because he was inside me.

"Je suis désolé. Demain, je vais vous faire le petit déjeuner au lit."

"Whaaa…Oh my…G-g-g…" It always amazed me that he could speak French and have sex at the same time. I didn't usually like to speak much English when we made love, but I was in the mood to speak my mind tonight. As best I could, of course.

"I'm sorry. And I'm going to make you breakfast in bed tomorrow."

"Oh yeah? What's on the menu?" I asked, leaning up and kissing his chest.

"Gaufres de chocolat et de fraises."

"That sounds sexy. And like you're gonna need my help."

"Chocolate waffles with strawberries. Peut-être nous pouvons faire ensemble."

"No we're not making them together, nice try!" I knew bits of French from trying to teach Arabella a little bit, and well…sex. He definitely said 'together' often in bed, and the rest I kind of just guessed. "You just promised me breakfast in bed. I'm gonna be tired. I'm already tired from taking care of your kids all day. Make frozen ones."

"Shhh! Shhh!"

"Don't tell me to 'shh' you need to take more responsibility, please! Because when I go back to work it's gonna be harder with…"

"Soyez tranquille, April. Permettez-moi de te faire l'amour." Be quiet April. Let me make love to you. I guessed that one. Because he put his finger over my lips and quickened his pace.

I closed my eyes and surrendered."OK, I'll be q…Oh, oh, oh my…Oh my G…Jaaackson!"

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** If you have TGO related prompts for "The Early Years" SEND THEM VIA TUMBLR. And please don't hold me to updating this super regularly. This history has to feel right. I hope you like these! Let me know! And as always, thanks for showing this world so much love :)! **

**PS: If the French is wrong I blame Google Translate. I can't help myself. I love the idea that Jackson speaks French...pretty much exclusively to seduce April. Fixed the French, thanks Liann:) I had used "berries" instead of "strawberries" (I think, hehe. I took basic French in college for a year and was bad at/forget it, really. So thanks for the help, really. To continue putting French in TGO I'm gonna need help like that so please don't hesitate to give it!)  
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	2. Tomorrow: The Harper Avery's

**Hi guys! So the girls are back! I need a few more weeks for the TGO Chapter, but I hope this satisfies for now! The prompt was for the Harper Avery's or the photoshoot I mention a lot. I started writing and then 17 pages nagged at me. I've been avoiding real life because this was in my head so I hope you like it. Obviously, knowing TGO helps...there's a lot going on here! But I confess that I don't always read back so...I do my best with timing...this one takes place 2 weeks before the oneshot that started it all! Let me know what you think! **

**Also, I know I wrote the HA's differently than they did in the show, because the guy getting it knows he's getting it...but that's how I wanted to do it. Anyway, really hope you like this!**

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"Tenley what's the problem? You just did all of your pictures with Pop Pop and Nana and Bellie and Braelyn so good, baby. These are just pictures with daddy. You already did all the hard stuff. Go show daddy your Avery smile, you do it the best!" April nudged her two-and-a-half year old toward the backdrop where Jackson was taking his individual shots.

They did this every year; it was part of being an Avery. Harper made the family come to Boston and take pictures. For the newsletters, for the holiday card. If it were up to him, his great-granddaughters might not be included, but Catherine insisted. She said the foundation needed a younger image, and pictures of Jackson with his family would help achieve that. So every year since April was pregnant with Arabella, they came. All her children had taken these pictures from the womb. She was hiding her current pregnancy from the girls for the moment though, so she refused to take any this year. But Tenley didn't have choice.

"Don't want to do it wit daddy, want to wit Mama."

"Oh but Mama's wearing sweats right now, sweetie, I'm not going to take pictures this time."

"Go play dress-up like Bellie." Tenley pointed to the racks of dresses she knew were behind them in the dressing room. Arabella loved taking these pictures, and insisted on changing her wardrobe every time there was a different person in a shot with her. Harper caved to her every whim, so there were always racks and racks of dresses for both girls to choose from.

"No silly, none of those fit mama," April laughed. That was the understatement of the century. It was getting so hard to hide her bump, these days. When they got home, they'd have to sit the girls down for the talk. "Do you want to change your dress Tenley? I will help you do that if you want to."

"No. I like dis dress." She fanned her purple and white flower-printed dress out and smiled.

"You look very pretty, Tee!"

"Yeah," she nodded and giggled.

"So why don't you go show daddy how pretty your dress is? I bet he wants to see it!" Jackson had gotten up early to start prepping for the Harper Avery Awards being held later that night. For the first time, Harper agreed to honor a plastic surgeon, so it was going to be a big night for him. The girls had been to foundation events before, parties and such. But this year, Jackson begged April to let them come to the awards. He wanted his whole family there for his big night, he'd said.

April didn't really understand his eagerness. In years past, Jackson saw the awards as just an obligation. They would leave the girls with Nikki for the weekend and go alone. She looked forward to it. Though he did have a sense of obligation, Jackson was always had an eye roll at the ready at Avery foundation events, especially the Harper Avery Awards. And because Jackson's only obligation in the past had only been to be there and look pretty, they'd spent a lot of the weekend holed up in the penthouse suite of the Ritz-Carlton, eating room service and having uninterrupted sex. It was a mini vacation of sorts.

This year was totally different. Because the girls were here, they were at least getting the photo shoot done in one trip, but Jackson was different. All he had told her was that a plastic surgeon was being honored. But from the way this trip had been going so far, it seemed like part of the reason that was happening was because Jackson was given more responsibility planning the evening. She thought this would be like a vacation, as usual. But it seemed like she and the girls were just there for show, because he hadn't been around much at all. He'd left early this morning to do something important he was vague about, so he hadn't helped April get the girls out the door or seen them pick their outfits.

"Don't show daddy, no fun!" Tenley pulled April out of her thoughts.

"What? Did you just call daddy no fun? I don't think he's gonna like that….hey daddy…"April raised her voice and motioned for Jackson to come over to them. "Tenley just took pictures with Pop Pop, but she said you will be no fun to take them with."

"Are you serious Tee?" He raised his eyebrows at her, but immediately launched into a tickle attack, lifting her into his arms an eliciting those sweet giggles that only he could. April wondered if he noticed the way his daughters laughed at him. She really wondered if Jackson took the time to actually appreciate the beautiful sound they only made for him.

"Wanna know a secret?" he whispered in Tenley's ear. She nodded, all business. Secrets were serious. "I hate taking pictures too. But I'll make it fun, I promise. We can make silly faces at the camera first. What's your best silly face Tee, show me."

"No, no, no." She started to cry and reached out for April. He hadn't been listening closely. She'd been fine taking pictures all day. It was just when it came time to take them with Jackson that there was trouble. It worried April so much.

"What can I do, hmm baby? You're a big girl and you know these have to get done." Her doctor had asked her to be conscious of how often she held her kids, to avoid it. But with a near one-year-old who was just beginning to stand, and a two-year-old who was extra sensitive, it was proving to be an impossible task.

She kissed her daughter's cheek. "I think I'm gonna go take some pictures with daddy. He's one of my favorite people to take pictures with, did you know that Tee?" Tenley nodded her head against her mother's shoulder. "The sooner we're done, the sooner we get to go eat lunch, right? We're gonna have lunch with daddy and then we're all gonna go visit the horsies, remember?" April put Tenley down. "So I'm going to go get all of my pictures done, because I don't know about you Tee, but I want to go see Strawberry. Don't you, Jackson?"

She turned to him. "Yeah…yeah, I bet the horsies miss you Tee." He was quick to wrap his arms around April and lead her to the backdrop. "I can't come to lunch or the stables April. I thought I told you…I have so much to do for tonight." He kissed down her neck and the photographer snapped away. "And I thought you weren't doing these this year."

"I'm not," April spit. Then she turned her attention to the photographer. "You don't have to take so many, these are just so Tenley will eventually come take some with Jackson."

"Well, try to look like you're having fun, mama." Jackson gave an exaggerated smile and looked toward Tenley, who wasn't budging.

"Kind of hard to do right now. What do you mean you're not coming….I thought…"

"My name is on this event this year, April. Come on….you knew that!"

"I knew no such thing. You might have told me in your head, but all I knew was that you really wanted the girls here because Harper decided to honor a plastic surgeon or…something." April rolled her eyes as another flash went off.

"Oh…I'm so sorry babe! I really thought I…"

"You _think _you do a lot lately Jackson."

"Come on April, cut me some slack. For today. The only place I want to be is wherever you and the girls are….but that can't happen today. I'm sorry." He tried to kiss her but she put her hand up to stop him, and heard the camera click.

"When can it happen, Jackson? When can you make time for us this weekend that's just for us, not for show for the foundation. My family is not a trophy family…I refuse to…"

"April…I know that. I love my family. I love you. I wish it could be like usual. I wish this were just a weekend we could hang out and have fun. It's just…not. But I will be back in time to help you get them ready. I promise. "

"Okay," she sighed.

"Okay?"

"Yeah. You are Jackson Avery and I am your wife. I know what that means."

He raised his eyebrows. "I'm not sure I know what that means. But I'm glad you do. Thank you for understanding. I really am sorry." She let him kiss her, forgetting they were in the middle of a fake/real photo shoot, until he slipped his arm around her bump.

"Jackson Harper…get your hand off there right this second…" she seethed, tilting her head toward Arabella, who was twirling her way to the sidelines, having finished changing clothes with her Nana. "She watches things and she knows it means when you…just…hands off the belly. And Tenley? You gotta spend more time with her, Jackson. She was _fine_ until you showed up."

"Whoa, this just got serious again fast. Is it so bad if she figures it out?"

"Yes. Yes it is. She's the reason we find out the sex every time. The first time I wanted to be prepared but then…"

"You read that it helps if kids know they're going to have a brother or a sister."

"Yeah but she freaks out every time and I'm getting tired of it. So yes. It matters because I'm not dealing with that meltdown alone. You know it's a big one and I just…"

"Hey, hey relax, sweetheart. Take a deep breath. OK. Not today. I get why it matters. Just…kiss me."

"What?" She wrinkled her nose at him but he went in for it anyway. And it worked, she relaxed. Kissing her husband was her favorite activity in the world. It reminded her that she wasn't alone, that someone was in this with her.

Jackson was trying his best. Sure, he was flawed. And his best needed to be better. But if he really was taking on more responsibility with the foundation he was probably stressed. April wanted to support him.

* * *

"Do they do that all the time?" Harper asked his great-granddaughter, frowning.

"Ascusting kisses? Yeah, always Pop Pop." Bellie sighed.

"Well that's just not appropriate is it, Bellie?"

The four-year-old shrugged. "Mommies an' daddies do it when they in lub. Asept my friend Carla sayed her mommy lub her daddy but she neber seed dem kiss ascusting," she laughed to herself.

"That's the way it should be, behind closed doors."

"Oh leave them alone, Harper. They are trying to show Tee that this can be fun. And they were just having a f-i-g-h-t. Let them be." Catherine whispered, and then picked Braelyn up from her stroller. "Say nana, Brae. Say na-na-na."

"She just says mama, and Tee, and she calls me Abie. She don't eben say dad. I don't know why she say me and Tee but not dad."

"She will baby. She's not even one year old yet."

Arabella shook her head. "Not nex' week."

"No her party's not next week, it's the one after, right? Her birthday's next week though."

"Yeah and my friends get to come to da party, Nana. You coming?"

"Yeah, diva. I'm gonna try very hard."

"Daddy has to do more trying. Mommy says dat eberyday."

"Yeah? Do they yell a lot, baby?"

"No, dey don't yell. Yellin' not 'loud in Abery house. Or I will gib a time out."

"Oh you will huh? Give your parents time out?"

"Yeah I will Nana. Pop Pop you comin' fer the party?"

"No. You have so many parties at your house, because you have so many sisters. I can't come to every one. Your sisters come fast, don't they Darling?"

"Yeah, dey comed fast and Brae a-nyin sometimes but Tenley's my friend." Arabella paused, and then turned to stare at her great grandfather, seriously. "Mama hab a pop. Is dare a baby in it? Pops al-ways hab babies in dem." Catherine smacked Harper, hard. It was very hard to amuse Avery men, but somehow Arabella Catherine got the job done easily. She seemed to have all of them wrapped around her finger. Somehow she always got Harper in particular to tell her things she didn't even know she wanted to know.

"I think you should ask your dad about where the pop comes from," Harper cleared his throat. "Hey Bellie, how do you get that to stop?" He pointed to Jackson and April, still in their own little world. "We have work to do today. We have to get these pictures done."

"Only always stops if you hab an ouchie."

"Go tell them you have an ouchie, Bellie."

"Dat is lyin' Pop Pop. Abery's don't do lyin'."

"You are right but it's not a lie for long. You can tell them I made you do it. We have to get these done. I need your help. And your dad and I have an important meeting for lunch."

"No. Mom sayed daddy has lunch wit us."

"She didn't know baby," Catherine stepped in. "Just go tell them you are ready for pictures with daddy."

"Fine. I goin'." Arabella gave a dramatic sigh complete with an eye roll.

"Ascuse me, mom an' dad…ASCUSE ME!..." She tried just being loud at first, but quickly grew impatient. '"I HAB A OUCHIE!"

That got April's attention. "What sweetheart? Where? Oh Bellie, you look so pretty."

"Thanks," she giggled. . "I don't hab an ouchie. Pop Pop telled me to say that fer gettin' you 'tention 'cause it's my turn fer pictures wit daddy, please."

"Ok, you're right Bellie. You're gonna have fun right?"

"Oh course mom."

"Ok. When you're done pretty girl, make sure you tell Tee how much fun you had with daddy."

"Ok, mom. She just playin' Ipad."

"I know," April sighed and went back to the sidelines to check on her other kids. The kissing was nice, but she was still frustrated. Jackson wasn't completely off the hook. One of his daughters was uncomfortable around him; there was no excuse for that. The fact that there was nothing April could do to fix this for Tenley tore her up.

"Whatcha doin' Tenley girl?"

"Just playin' letters game," she said, after taking her passi out of her mouth.

"Don't you wanna go over there and talk to Nana and Pop Pop?"

"No mama."

"I didn't convince you pictures with dad were fun, huh?" Tenley shook her head, eyes focused on the screen. "Look at Arabella, sweetie. Stop playing one sec. Look at how much fun she's having with daddy." April pointed to Jackson and Bellie. Arabella was laughing about something in her dad's arms, but by the time Tee looked up they were doing the serious "Avery smile" that Tenley was trying to avoid at all costs.

"Jus' Avie smile." She looked back at the ipad game.

April took it away, slowly. "Tenley what's wrong? You did all your other pictures. Pop Pop is not as fun as daddy, trust me."

"Daddy don't have fun," she answered.

"I don't know what that means, baby…. he's having so much fun. Oh look…look Belllie's getting a piggyback ride. You like those, Tee!"

She saw it happening, thankfully. Something about that got her excited. "Will I get one?"

"Of course, baby. Of course he will give you one. You just have to go ask nicely, without your passi. Go ahead, Tee!"

April was finally able to relax a little bit as Tenley ran over to Jackson. Her second born was sweet and sensitive, just like she was. As a husband, Jackson handled that personality well enough. He got impatient and was insensitive at times. But April was able to communicate her hurt feelings and warn him when he needed to try harder for her, or simply walk away. It's why their marriage worked, because April communicated when she needed to.

Well, about most things. April kept the burdens of childcare to herself for the most part. When she had tried to explain her stress in the past, Jackson didn't seem to understand. He said he'd do better, fall short, and then always have excuses. It had been that way since Braelyn was born.

But at least April could communicate her feelings. She was realizing today that Tenley probably stayed closer to her for more reasons than just wanting to be a helper. Maybe she was also staying away from Jackson. He tucked her in when he was home, but left her alone to color if she was in the corner by herself. He'd get distracted by Arabella attacking him, or the baby. He was trying to be better with the baby. He was home to feed and bathe her more, since April got fed up one day and pointed out he never helped, and maybe that's why she didn't say "dada" yet. But Tenley was getting lost in all of that.

The piggyback ride was over, and somehow Jackson had convinced her to do her Avery smiles. She caught April's eye and April smiled and gave her daughter a thumbs up.

When Jackson noticed her distraction, he tickled Tee's tummy, and the photographer snapped away. No doubt these would be part of the "reject" pile Harper mailed them every year that was filled with raw, beautiful, candid shots that April framed every year.

"Hey you! Look at me, not at mommy silly. You know what? I didn't get my kisses this morning. Gimme kisses, princess!" April's eyes began to water as she watched them take these last few shots. Because when they both tried, the love there was so obvious. But it broke her heart that they both had to try so hard.

* * *

"Mama, it's later. Where's daddy?" All day Arabella had been asking. Before she would take a bite of lunch she wanted to know where he was. Before she would let April take a picture of her on the horse to send to him, she asked why he couldn't just come see. In the car ride to places and from places. "Is daddy gonna be there? Why not now? It's later." All day, all April could think to say was "Even later than this."

"You're right sweetheart, it is later. I don't know where he is. But please close your eyes; it's your turn for the waterfall. Close them tight sweetheart." She filled up a cup and rinsed her daughter's hair. At least the tub in the penthouse suite was more than big enough for two little bodies.

"Toys?"

"I didn't bring bath toys Tenley." She didn't think she'd need them. Whenever daddy helped with baths the girls were plenty entertained. "Your turn for the waterfall, close your eyes tight."

"Why is Brae in here, not sleepin'?"

"It's a special night Bellie, she took a nap early so she could stay up just a little bit at the awards." The baby shouldn'tve been going. But there was no way April would leave her alone in Seattle, even with Nikki, and Harper's housekeeper Louisa always had this night off.

April had bought the baby a dress. She'd assumed a lot of things about this weekend, most of which she felt silly for now. If she had known how it was going to be, she'd have done a lot of things differently. But she'd found her 11-month old an appropriate dress, so she was hoping Brae would last at least until 9 pm.

"Can we hab dinner mama? I'm hungry."

"Silly, where am I supposed to make dinner?" There was no kitchen. And no time to order room service. If Jackson were there, she'd have him order before helping with baths. He'd promised to be there. "Come stand up and step into the towels, both of you. They give dinner at the awards. We can have a snack before we get into our pretty dresses." She hoped a snack would do. Because surely Jackson mentioned that dining accommodations needed to be made for his children. Surely he knew that if they had to be there he had to offer food they'd eat.

"Mom, you got a tex." Arabella said a few minutes later, when she was eating her snack.

"I know sweetheart, I heard it. Ignore it, Ok? I'm in the middle of dressing your sister."

"But it's da noise fer it's daddy."

"I know, Bellie I heard it. It's not going to be any news we want to hear right now, we gotta get ready," April sighed. She knew her husband. He didn't text good news. On the rare occasion he came home early, or when he had treats for the girls, there was no need for warning. Surprises were much more gratifying. He was just explaining why he was late, or telling her he was going to be later than he was already, or worst case, asking her to meet him there. If it was that, she'd deal with it when they were all dressed and ready to go. No need to give herself more anxiety.

"How much you lub daddy? To da moon too? Or da stars high up from da moon?"

"Right now, maybe the stars lower than the moon," April admitted, zipping up the back of Braelyn's dress.

"He lub you so much al-ways mom. He says dat."

"He says a lot doesn't he? Eat your string cheese Arabella it's almost your turn to get dressed. Tenley girl, come on…your turn. Are you done eating?" She nodded and climbed down from her chair, running to her mother, who was in the middle of the hotel suite floor, surrounded by dresses. "Yours is purple, are you excited, Princess?" April bought three matching black dresses with different color bows for the event.

She usually wasn't into the matching thing. April loved being a mother and was good at it, it came naturally to her. But she was very conscious of doing things that felt too "housewifey", especially after making the decision to leave Grey-Sloan. Putting her children in matching dresses felt housewifey, but also a little bit Avery, and easy. She was glad now that she went for easy, seeing as she was getting them ready alone. But Arabella never let her mother get away with anything.

"Why dey da same? That is silly," she said, turning to look at her sisters, mouth full of string cheese.

"You're silly. Turn around and sit nice in your chair and finish eating, big girl. Please!" April let out a frustrated sigh. "And no doing that later, you have to sit like a lady all night."

"I know da rules mom, I'm da best follower."

"No, me!" Tenley piped up, as April finished zipping her up.

"I hope you both are good rule followers tonight. Because this is Pop Pop and daddy's event, and it's not really for little girls but daddy told Pop Pop his girls were the best and so Pop Pop said you could come. You have to show him daddy was right." She had no idea what Jackson had told his grandfather, but she did have very respectful little girls.

"No can-nee?" Tenley asked, frowning.

"No candy, but maybe there's cookies for the cookie monster. I don't really know anything, girls." She whispered the last part to her knee, surprised she even said it out loud. "Come on now Arabella Catherine, you're done eating. I think you're just playing with it."

"I'm not mom!" she insisted, but did as she was told.

"Want to know a secret about your dress, big girl?" Arabella nodded. "Your bow is gold to match my dress because you are the oldest, right? You're not a baby so you should match mommy." She whispered it, because special, harmless secrets made Bellie feel special.

The little girl's eyes widened. "Us only, Ok mom? Not girls only. No one else knows."

April couldn't help but laugh. "Ok, Bellie. We won't tell anyone else our dresses match." Jackson loved April in gold. She thought it an odd choice herself, but he absolutely loved her in gold. So she'd bought an empire waist, simple, full-length maternity gown this year. Because usually she told him she didn't dress for him and bought whatever color she wanted, his preferences be damned. But tonight was his night. As she zipped up her last little girl, April regretted not going with the eggplant gown she'd loved.

"I tell you a secret now, mom?"

"Ok Arabella, what?" April yawned and somehow hoisted herself up from the floor.

"You hab a pop. Is there a baby in there?"

"Bellie, no more questions today, OK? You asked too many hard questions. Time to finish your hair. Come on, everyone march to the bedroom." She picked Brae up and kissed her cheek, as her oldest daughters fell in line behind her. They listened; at least her children listened to her.

* * *

"There. Now mommy's all ready for the Harper Averys too." April blotted her lipstick and smiled at her girls from the mirror. "We did good, girlies, who needs daddy, right?"

"We do mom 'acause he bringin' the limbo-zine and we needs ta walk inside wit him, member? That's you're rules." Arabella rolled her eyes.

April chuckled. "Yeah well, that might have changed. Let's see." She started toward the living room and her phone. "Want to play a game girls? Where do you think daddy is?"

"He just workin' mom."

"He goed to horsies…visit Sperry."

"Daddy don't bisit your horsie, Tee. Don't be a silly."

"Let's be silly, who can think of the silliest place daddy is right now?" April called to the girls, reading the text from an hour ago. "GONNA BE LATE! SO SORRY BABE. BE THERE WITH THE LIMO."

"Errr,…rocket ship…"

"Good one, Bellie…"

"Plane in da sky…"

"That's not a silly place, Tee. Peoples go dare all the time…"

"Actually it would be kind of silly. Because we are here…he should be here, right? He should be here," she whispered, and then shook it off. Sometimes she forgot she was talking to little girls. "OK….next question…how am I going to zip my dress up without daddy here. Any ideas?" Bellie just stared at her mom and shrugged.

"I'm here. I'm here. Sorry, sorry, sorry….I'm here. What can I do?" Jackson went in for a kiss but she wouldn't even give her cheek. They had been married for just under five years. The cheek meant trouble, but he'd never been denied it. "Babe…"

"What? You can help me zip up and you can take the baby. Here, she's sleeping…don't wake her yet."

"Daddy! Was you in a rocket ship?" Arabella giggled, running up to her dad. "Mommy, can I wear lis-stick?" Jackson zipped April's dress and took the baby.

"No Bellie. Time to go….Let's go, girls…"

"April, relax. We have a second. Take a breath. My girls look so pretty tonight. Lemme see your dresses." He certainly was a charmer. The little girls blushed and fanned their skirts out.

"All right, enough. Let's go. Big girls hold my hand, because daddy has the baby."

Tee immediately ran to April's side, but Arabella wasn't having it. "Why? I wanna hold daddy's hand."

"Because that's the way it is, Arabella!" April snapped, grabbing her daughter's arm. Everything froze for a minute. She was firm; she always got her point across. Her children respected her. But she was never short, never mean.

"April what the h…."

She ignored Jackson and turned to Tenley, realizing that Arabella was about to bust into tears. "Princess, go downstairs with your daddy. I have to talk to Bellie." Tenley's eyes widened and she ran to her father. She, too, was a little frightened. Her mommy had never been that angry before.

"I'm sorry, diva. Mommy's so, so, so sorry Arabella. I'm mad at your daddy and I just…please don't cry sweet girl. You look so pretty. I don't want silly tears to mess up your pretty face. I'm so sorry Arabella."

"You mad 'acause daddy went a silly place?" she was still a little cautious.

"Yeah, he did. But don't worry about that Arabella. Can I have a hug, please? We gotta go, or we'll be late for the awards."

"Yeah. I assept your 'pology." Arabella said, giving her mom a hug.

"Thanks big girl," April kissed Bellie, leaving a little lipstick behind. She laughed. "Oh look, sweetie….I left a little lipstick behind. Wanna keep it?"

Arabella wrinkled her nose. "Ewww no mom. Not the way to put it on."

"OK, I'll get it off in the limo. Come on, pretty girl. We'd better go."

Bellie willingly took her mom's hand. "Mom, you da prettiest, eben wit your pop."

April smiled, deciding neither to confirm nor deny at this point. "Thank you, Arabella."

* * *

"Alright, time to go over the rules one last time, big girls." April said, as soon as she and Bellie crawled into the limo. She didn't want to give Jackson even one second to talk. Now was not the time.

"What are daddy and Pop Pop doing tonight?"

"Workin." Bellie was already bored, having memorized these answers. But Tenley, always eager to please, was playing close attention.

"Annnd what to we say to the strangers who are going to keep saying hi to us all night?"

"Who are you, stupidface?" Arabella giggled at her response, knowing it was wrong.

"Nope! No extra stickers for you. Tee?"

"Hi! I'm Tenley."

"Good girl." April smiled at her daughter, already snuggled in her lap.

"Den you tell dem what they askin' if you knows answer."

"Good, Bellie. You can have extra stickers too." April knew all of the doctors tonight would be all over Harper Avery's great gandkids, faking interest, and she wanted her kids to be as ready as possible to converse. Her girls were smart, she wanted it known they cold be talked to and not just fawned over. If Arabella was going to be at board meetings with these people in about ten years time, like Jackson wanted, she might as well start talking to them now.

"What if you have to go to the bathroom? Who do you ask?"

"Not Pop Pop, no way!" Arabella shook her head wildly, but her bun was so fixed in place it didn't move at all. Jackson chuckled. "Mama only."

"Yeah but what if mama's busy talking? Nana or daddy?"

"Firs' daddy…" Jackson's eyes widened and he started shaking his head. He didn't know these rules existed, but he'd been impressed until now. April just nodded at him, over her daughters' heads.

"Why daddy?"

"He's daddy." Tenley answered simply.

"That's right, Tee. He's always daddy so even when he's working he's second in charge."

Jackson just rolled his eyes and turned his attention to Braelyn, who was waking up in his arms. "Hi cub. Perfect timing. Say dada…"

April ignored him. "A few more girls. "How do we sit on our chairs?"

"Nice ony."

"What do we say to Dr. Jacoby when we sit down?"

"'gradulations 'acause Pop Pop and daddy gibin him a ward."

"What kind of voice do we use?"

"INSIDE ONLY!" Arabella screamed, knowing it was her last chance of the night. April shot her a look. "Jus' kiddin' mama," she smiled. "But Brae al-ways cry loud."

"Brae's just a baby. No rules for her. What game are we playing tonight?"

"Whisper pictures or color by youself only."

"Game?" Jackson spoke up, he couldn't help himself.

"Yeah daddy. Game….because all the girls in this limo are too little to know what reconstructive surgery for burn victims even is….so no matter that Dr. Jacoby's advancements are worthy of Pop Pop's award. When speeches happen we will color. But when everyone's talking we will be playing whisper Pictionary. Problem?"

"N-Nope. April, you know that after an hour you can take them in the back room and…"

"No thanks. I didn't come here knowing I was expected to be a babysitter. I thought I was attending the Harper Avery's with my family. So when they are tired we will change into 'jamas and they can fall asleep in your lap, right?"

They weren't even there yet, and April regretted this choice more than she had all weekend. It wasn't fair, expecting little girls to do this. She hated herself for letting him talk her into it. He'd made it sound like he'd be there to help. But even so, she wasn't sure what possessed him to think making three little girls under five sit through three hours of medical talk was a good idea.

Or, more accurately, she did know what possessed her, and she was angry about it, and determined that tonight go her way, since she'd given in to him without thinking.

"Plus, we didn't have dinner, so….there better be nuggies waitin for us in there, right?" April asked her girls, huge smile plastered on her face.

"Nuggies? But mama I thought you would…"

"What? Cook dinner? Order food? Take them to a restaurant twice in one day by myself? No time, with three baths to give by myself," Jackson looked stung, but couldn't meet his wife's eyes, staring instead at his phone screen. "Oh look, we're here girls!" April chirped as the limo stopped. "Remember….we gotta take a few more annoying pictures in the lobby. What's the most important rule of the whole night?"

"No tantrum. Al-ways put you Abery smile on."

"That's right Arabella. Let's go. Big girls hold my hand. Dad has to carry the baby. Sorry, that's just how it is."

April led her family out of the limo. And in the lobby, when he kissed her cheek for the cameras, she let him. She knew how to stand by her husband's side, Avery smile plastered on her face.

* * *

"'Escuse me I don't eat dis." Arabella said, when a waiter put a steak in front of her an hour later. "I eat lotsa stuff. Hamberger or grilled cheesy or nuggies or…"

"OK, Bellie sweetheart….he doesn't need your whole list…" April patted her daughter's hand and gave her husband the evil eye from across the table, but he was busy charming some doctors from NYU. Starry-eyed first-timers, no doubt. "I'm sorry…" she paused, not able to see the waiter's nametag.

"Cory."

"I am so sorry Cory. Obviously my husband and in-laws didn't inform you that Harper's great granddaughters would be eating but if you could just whip up two grilled cheeses or hamburgers and fries or something, Bellie, Tenley, and I would be eternally grateful to you, right girls?"

"Yes. My tummy is hungry mama."

"I know, Tee. You've gotta wait just a little longer. But I'll cut up some salad for you."

"Sure Mrs. Avery…I'll…"

"Oh, Dr. It's Dr. April Avery. Nice to meet you, Cory." She had agonized over this for awhile, but decided that no one needed to know this year. Plus, she would always be a doctor. She'd earned the title, no matter that she had to stay home for a while until she got used to four children.

"Right Dr. Avery. Grilled cheese alright?"

"Perfect, right girls?"

"Yes please, thank you!" They both answered almost in unison, smiling brightly. April was so proud of her girls. It was eight o' clock, almost past their bedtime, and they hadn't eaten dinner yet. But they were being polite and coloring and making conversation when they had to. They weren't bothering daddy or Pop Pop or Nana and their whisper voices were extra quiet. They even remembered to say congratulations to Dr. Jacoby.

They definitely earned a special treat tonight, but more than that, it was just a great scene to watch as a parent. April was sad Jackson couldn't really watch it, though he was being more attentive than she had expected.

She checked her watch. Brae needed a change, and there was about 20 minutes until the awards started. Pictures were done; there was no sense in keeping her in the dress any longer. She knew she could get her changed before speaking began. The older girls could eat and then change while presentations were being given. Jackson was speaking enough that they wouldn't realize they'd missed anything. And they would probably be asleep by the time he actually presented the Harper Avery.

She cut up two salads for Bellie and Tee and then dared interrupt Jackson's conversation. "Jackson…babe excuse me, sorry…I'm just going to take this cub and get her pajamas on. Food is coming for the big girls, if you could just watch them, please. I'll be as fast as I can."

"Sure, take your time sweetheart. Hey girls, come meet my friends and show me what you colored." The girls' eyes brightened as they did what he asked and some of April's anger subsided. As wrong as it was to leave her all alone, and to text her so late, she knew that tonight, of all nights, he had a good excuse. She picked up the baby and the diaper bag and headed to the bathroom.

And then she heard it, when she was just past the table, seemingly out of ear shot "Your wife is just lovely. What does she do?"

"Oh she's ummm…she takes care of the kids." April gasped and felt the tears well up behind her eyes. It was the truth, and had been for about six months. But she'd never heard him answer the question in conversation. She always expected he'd add a "for now" or at least "she used to be a trauma surgeon." He used to purposefully bring up the Kepner Checklist in conversation at this event, when all the Avery talk started making him sick.

April started trembling a little, but remembered how to walk. Arabella, at least, had her back. "She usta be a surgery daddy, fer 'mergency room, member?"

"Yeah diva, I do. What are you coloring?"

April took a deep breath when she lay Braelyn down on the changing table, but her hands were shaking, and the baby started to cry.

"I know. I know. I feel you, Cub. Shhhh. Shh." In the bathroom April wiped a tear away before it fell on the baby.

The toilet flushed in a stall, and she stopped talking, realizing she wasn't alone.

"April? April. Are you alright? Sweetie you're shaking."

Her mother-in-law's voice made her jump. "Oh….Oh I….I'm fine I…"

"Here let me do that April. Go to the sink, freshen up. Are we putting jammies on?"

"Yeah…Catherine I…you have to go speak in a few minutes I…"

"So they'll stall for me, they've been doing it for years, honey. You need help; you couldn't dress her like that. It's fine, it's for my granddaughter." April went to the mirror and splashed water on her face. She started reapplying just foundation and gloss. "April, what's wrong?"

"Your son, he… requires a lot of sex."

Catherine's eyes widened and she blew a raspberry on her granddaughter's tummy. She hadn't talked to April Kepner about sex since well before she knew her son had taken the girl's virginity. "We weren't expecting that, were we Braelyn?"

"And I like it, too. A lot of it…it makes me feel…desired and loved and…But we don't talk much about…..he just….he's good at distracting me instead of talking so we don't talk much, sometimes. And I try to tell him I need help but…We just have a lot of sex and…" The tears started falling, in spite of her attempts to stop them.

"Breathe, April…Breathe and say what you want to say…."

"The least he could do is say 'she takes care of _our _children, who we make when I'm angry or happy or stressed. The ones I tell her are so beautiful I want half a dozen with her because she's perfect. We make gorgeous children and she's the best mom. What four-year-old do you know that could behave so well at a prestigious event?' If he doesn't want to help, if he doesn't want to call me a surgeon anymore, the least he could say is that!"

Catherine nodded understanding at the mirror. "Well, I'm not sure that would go over well in this room. But what do you require, right now?"

"Excuse me?"

"Simple question. What do you need?"

"I ummm…"She stuttered, not quite prepared for that question. "A break….some romance….I…I don't even…"

"Alright well….can you last an hour and a half until these things are over? Then let me take the girls to Harper's for the night. All three. If nothing else you need a good night's sleep, April, my God. You're carrying a child. Try to remember that when you get stressed. It's not good for that baby…"

"Girl, Catherine. It's another girl. I…I'm sorry," she said, suddenly fearful, though of what, she didn't know.

"Don't you ever apologize to me or anyone else for the sex of your child, you understand me? You and I both know you have no control over that…" April nodded. "Now come on, come introduce Harper with me…are you together?" she asked, buttoning up Braelyn's onsie.

"Catherine that's one of Jackson's…."

"Oh please, he's giving the whole speech before the award is presented. Can you read off of index cards?"

"Yes..."

"Then you are going to go out there, and in front of all of those pretentious, fake people, you are going to hand your husband his daughter and without a word, walk on stage with me and steal his lines. Remind him that you are a Kepner and an Avery, and above all else, you require respect from _my_ son. Teach your daughters to require respect from men, even if they choose to stay home and raise kids."

So that's what April did. She marched right out there and handed a confused Jackson his babbling baby girl. Then she met Catherine on stage, and even cradled her bump very quickly in front of a bunch of stuffy doctors. She was basically only hiding her pregnancy from Tenley at this point anyway, and was having a lot of trouble connecting to this baby. It was a step.

She watched Jackson remind her beaming, giggling girls to use inside voices as Catherine explained that there would be a change in the program. "Doctor Mrs. Jackson Avery" would be sharing the introductive remarks. It sounded weird, but at least it told everyone exactly who she was.

Trauma surgery had taught her nothing if not to improvise in any situation. She left the lines about how Jackson was inspired by his grandfather to Catherine, and told how her oldest daughter was already inspired by the heart thanks to Harper.

Then she calmly sat down and finished her dinner (which they re-warmed for her, without her asking), happy to care for her children the rest of the night after Catherine helped her make her point.

At the beginning of her marriage, April had been afraid of Catherine Avery. The woman wasn't at all excited about her son's quick wedding and honeymoon baby, and she wasn't afraid to let it be known. Catherine as a mother-in-law, at first, was very different than Catherine as a mentor. But Arabella had melted every Avery heart a little bit, and years into marriage, April was finding that Catherine was blending both roles pretty well.

She didn't ask for details on the marriage, but if she was given any, if she sensed trouble, it became her business. At least to an extent. She was going to do everything she could to ensure her son stayed as far away from his father's footsteps as possible. And as April was constantly reminded, she wasn't one to sit back and just watch another woman lose her voice, especially because of a man.

"Tell him what you require," Catherine reminded April, as everyone was loading the sleeping girls into Catherine's limo later that night.

* * *

He was looking for kisses even before the key was in the door. "Get away. You're not touching me tonight. I'm going to sleep." April squirmed away from his touch and headed into the bedroom to undress. Both of them had very different expectations for this night alone.

"I said I'm sorry. I made the press stuff before the awards, so I'd be here now….and it went long."

"What, you want a god star because you thought I needed your help tucking them in? I wouldn't have. I needed help getting them ready."

"I've been home lately to tuck them in, April. That's not fair…"

"Not fair? You want to talk about not fair? How about not knowing that your husband is not only speaking at the event he normally despises so much, but also running it? How about not knowing that you and your kids were there not for support, but basically just for show...How about…"

"I needed you there. All of you. I did!"

"You called me a housewife. There's nothing wrong with that, but that is not what I am. That is not all I am. You were just ready to debut your children at the Harper Avery's officially and you needed a _babysitter._"

"How can you say that? You're their mother…" He sat down on the bed next to her after untying his bowtie and rubbed his temples.

"That's not all I am, Jackson. I'm not just their mother, not just your wife."

"I know. You made that very clear tonight with my mother…."

"Oh you're mad about that? Please! This conversation is over. I'm going to sleep in the other bed tonight…" She stood up to leave, but he grabbed her hand.

"No. No. I'm not mad. I'm proud. And ashamed I didn't think to include you like that…Come on, let me help with your zipper. Sit down…." She sighed, but obliged.

"Exactly, Jackson…you didn't think. I would never have agreed to…I literally just thought you were attending, like always. Plastering on your Avery smile for Harper and saying a few words to the press because Jacoby is a plastic surgeon. After four years…How do you not know to add an 'oh…I'm planning it this year April,' to the end of a sentence, just once? I can't just handle three kids under five in a different city on my own, it's nor fair."

"I'm sorry babe. But you did great. I'm sorry." He started kissing her shoulder, slowly unzipping her dress. For the second time, April moved away from his touch.

"I did 'great'?" Gee thanks. So glad you approve of my parenting Jackson. I'm definitely not in the mood…I'm pregnant and…"

"You like sex better when you're pregnant. You always say you feel even more…"

"This one's different, OK. It's different with her. It hurts," she lied, and bit her lip as punishment. Sex felt like it always did while she was pregnant, when she was in the mood.

" It hurts? So last week, when you were begging for more you were actually…what? Hiding pain?"

April sighed. She'd never been a good liar. "I'm exhausted OK? It feels fine. But I'm not in the mood. I just spent the entire day with three very active little girls. Very active, very well behaved little girls who still try my patience because I'm alone with them. A lot. And in the morning, when I wake them up they say 'Hi Mama, where's daddy?' And at lunch, 'is daddy comin'?' And if you're late one night 'why he not here?' Even Tee, even though she wasn't really in the mood for you today, either. Even Brae, she can only say 'mama,' and 'cub' and 'no' pretty much, but she watches the door with her sisters when I tell them you will be home soon. And…You didn't even look at me tonight."

"What? April…of course I…"

"No, you didn't….you said 'My girls look so pretty.' Usually you…" She looked down, unable to finish her sentence.

Usually. Usually he said "My girls look so pretty tonight," and then he'd stop right in front of her, look her right in the eyes and say "And my wife," and kiss her until the girls started to laugh or Arabella groaned and rolled her eyes. But tonight, tonight he'd grouped all four, all five of them together.

"April…you were mad…I didn't…we were rushing and…" He stopped making excuses, stood up and started pacing the room. "I'm him."

"What?" April blinked, surprised at his reaction. She expected just to vent and yell and then accept his apology, maybe even kiss him goodnight before he wrapped his arms around her and they fell asleep.

"I'm him. I'm here, so I'm both of them. Harper stayed, but he hired nannies…"

"Jackson, I don't want to hire nannies what are you…."

"I know. I'm just saying. My whole life I've tried to…to…be him, be like him…like my grandfather, but not like him, too. And definitely not like my…definitely not like….not like _h-h-him."_Jackson's voice cracked. "I wanted surgery and love and you…you're the reason I have both. I took it from you and now…now I'm failing. I'm failing you April. I'm him. I'm both of them." When he looked up, there were tears in his eyes.

"You aren't failing me, Jackson. Or us…they love you. _We _ love you. And you didn't take anything from me. You let me make the choice. You _made _me make it alone." If she were being honest with herself, April would remember how trapped she'd felt that night, like she only had one choice. But now was not the time for that memory.

"Come here, sweetheart. Come sit. Here, you want a chocolate-covered strawberry? Someone ordered them, someone who knew he had a lot of apologizing to do tonight, maybe?" She tried to give him her most cheerful smile. Jackson's father was a touchy subject.

"It wasn't me, April." Jackson answered, dejected.

"Oh…hmmm…oh maybe it was your mom. I told her I needed some….some romance and maybe she was just…offering some…help? Oh well….We can have fun with these…here, have one…" she outstretched her hands, offering him the tray.

"April, you told my mother you needed…you just said you didn't want to have…I really am failing….

"Well, we can just sit together and eat a snack. And…please stop talking about my husband that way. He just handed the Harper Avery award to a plastic surgeon for the first time in history. That's not something a failure gets to do."

"I didn't earn that, that's just my name…." But he sat down.

"You most certainly did earn that. Harper Avery makes everyone earn his respect, even his family. Otherwise you'd have been presenting the award for years. But your mother has done it. Now shut up and eat a strawberry." He started to protest, but when he opened his mouth she shoved it in, laughing. "Yummy?"

He'd hurt her today, all day. He'd made mistakes. But April often forgot how difficult family functions were for him. He was a good father. He loved spending time with the girls, when he could. But he also _had _to be an Avery. He was never given any other choice. He very rarely had to be "daddy" and "Dr. Jackson Avery, Harper's grandson," at the same time. He could've done a little bit better with the dad part, but he could've done worse. She was being too hard on him. He simply hadn't had time to be her husband all day, but at least he was admitting his mistakes.

He nodded in reply to her question and she was pulled back to the present. "You're not failing me, do you understand?" He just fed her a strawberry, silently. "Mmmm…" She pulled him to her and kissed him, knowing what he needed. "Babe, this dress…it's really starting to get uncomfortable…"

"Are you sure, April?" When he didn't play along, that's when he needed it most.

"Yes. I'm sure. I was mad and I lied before because…well…I don't know but I'm sorry." She framed his face with her hands. "I'm sorry, Jackson."

"Me too, I'm so sorry April I don't…"

"Shh just…take my dress off, Jackson. And tomorrow we'll sleep late and meet the girls for brunch and have a family day. Tomorrow…that was always our day in your mind, right? , and you'll come home more to do paperwork. I need you home more."

He nodded, not meeting her eyes, but she put her finger under his chin, forcing him to look at her. They just stared like that for a good 30 seconds, like it was a contest, until he finally broke the silence "Stand up, please. I want to look at you in this dress before I take it off."


	3. Thanksgiving: Year One

**Hey! I'm back. It's been SO long. But you know, life happens. I just realized TGO has SO much history, but only two chapters are up on fanfic as "Early Years." I probably wanted to edit through it all, which I now have time to do. **

**I know it's late, but I have two "Early Years" Thanksgivings in my head, and one Christmas. I think it's safe to say all 3 will be up before the next chapter of the multi-chapter fic, and I hope that's OK with you. I'm not the best with festive writing but...these 3 holidays came to mind, it's that time of year, and I just haven't felt like opening up that document yet...but I started it...so everything will come with time. **

**Like I said, I'm not great with holidays, and I suspect neither is Jackson Avery. In TGO Universe, pretty much everything in cannon that we know up until 10x12 is true...but no matter the date on any invites, in my head they married in mid-to late January. That makes Arabella an October baby, about 6 weeks when Japril have their first real holiday together. That would be overwhelming for anyone, but I don't suspect Jackson really knows what to do, at all, being that he doesn't have a traditional upbringing. **

**And April...I suspect she had a whole lot more in mind for her first holiday season as a newlywed than what her husband can give her. That's where the idea for this started. At first, I thought this might be about what "could have been" for her. But well...if I don't stop typing the note soon it will be longer than the story. And this is short/kinda fluffy anyway. **

* * *

"Hey…there are my girls. Happy Thanksgiving. I got us sandwiches and stuffing and green beans. No sweet potatoes though, I remembered. Did you get a chance to make the casserole?"

"Yeah," April yawned, accepting a kiss from her husband as her six-week-old daughter, Arabella Catherine, finished feeding. "Sometimes she sleeps. Right diva? She was so good for mama today."

Jackson caught April wiping away a tear and walked over to Bellie's custom rocking chair, big enough for both of her parents. He hadn't seen it much in the past two weeks since going back to work.

"I was going to get the food ready, but do you want to do that or just rest? We can eat later, sweetheart. Give me my girl. These 12-hour shifts are way too long. Daddy misses you too much, both of you." He kissed April again, first on the lips and then lovingly pecked her shoulder. "She need to change into jammies and then sleep? We've got this mama, go rest."

April nodded and took a deep breath to compose herself before standing. "Yeah. I'm not going to rest Jackson. I'm gonna get the food ready. I want to spend Thanksgiving with you."

He ignored the edge in her voice. "OK April, I love you." And then turned his attention to the baby. "You…what are we going to do with you, huh? Did you and mama have a hard day? Is she hiding something from me?" But Bellie wasn't even smiling yet. "Nothing to say, huh? Daddy has to figure this one out on his own?" She started to wail. "Yeah, yeah, yeah. First I'll change your diaper. But listen, can you maybe try a four hour stretch this time? We need half date and a little sleep. That's all baby girl. Just a few hours."

* * *

"Hey, she's down. Rough day?" Jackson asked, coming in to help April set the table.

"I told you, she was fine. This has nothing to do with Arabella, she's fussy sometimes, but all babies are."

"So what is it, babe? Come on….ever since that fight …You know I'm open to…we have to talk about things."

They sat down at the table, opening containers of food. April sighed. "It's…it's Thanksgiving Jackson. Of course I wanted to be with my family….with you, here. But I'm supposed to be in Ohio with….my family."

"I'm sorry, April. I work every year. Worked."

"I know. I know. We talked, there was no way around it this year. This is the best year anyway. She's so young. But I just…"

"You miss them, I know. I'm sorry. The casserole is good, you were right…something home-cooked was a good idea. " He put his hand on top of the table and reached for hers but she pulled away, picking up her sandwich and wincing when she took a bite. It probably didn't taste like Thanksgiving turkey, but Jackson wouldn't know.

"You're not sorry," April snapped.

Jackson put his fork down and rubbed his temples, sighing. "Can we just…eat?"

"I just…I don't understand why you were so adamant Jackson. My mother wanted to come. Just my mother. And it's nine…All day I've been alone. And she can't come because the baby's too young? That's just…I was supposed to be there."

"April I…" But he was suddenly at a loss for words. How did he even begin to explain this? "It's our first big holiday…"

"Yeah, holidays are spent with family! I _was _with family, but she wasn't the best company. She can't even smile yet, and a good day for her lately involves keeping poop inside of her diaper. How about you? Did you sneak off to Boston for the day? I bet Catherine just happened to pop up in your OR, coincidently….

"Babe….I'm here now. I saved a life today and right now I'm with my beautiful wife, eating a delicious sweet potato casserole she made with love."

"Actually it's just sweet potatoes, pecans, brown sugar and marshmallows."

"Ok, well….I was really hoping to have a nice night with you. And you didn't want to nap, so…"

She swallowed a sip of cranberry juice and sighed. "I want to have a nice night with you, too. It's just….if my mom were here I could've made a turkey breast, at least. And green bean casserole and stuffing, broccoli…"

Jackson shrugged. "I think we did all right. I've only ever had catered holidays."

She felt tears form behind her eyes. But she wanted to salvage the evening, so she just took a deep breath and forced a smile. "This year, your holiday traditions. Next year mine. And you are not going to want to look back, mister."

He just cringed. "Sweetheart? About Christmas. Let's go see your…"

"No…nope. Nuh uh….it's Christmas with the in-laws this year for the Kepner women. My mother even goes to cousin Jeff's and she looks forward to it. Plus, your mom called me. Harper wants to meet Arabella."

"Bullshit."

"Excuse me?"

"It's bullshit. He wants me there for pictures…and her. Mom wants it too. I haven't gone the past few years. Last year I worked, my dinner was whatever was in the attending's lounge. Now that she's here…there's finally a new generation, they really want the pictures."

"Thanks for including me in there," April concentrated hard on her sandwich.

"Of course I will. Of course. I'll insist. I'm just telling you their perspective."

"I have a good relationship with your mom. Don't pretend that I don't. My mother wasn't even at Bellie's birth…"

Jackson raised an eyebrow. "I mean, I wasn't even there for half of it. She showed up after the birth, but…"

"Did you have to bring that up? You know I was scared and you eventually got in there. And your mom came. Mine couldn't and wanted to give up _her_ Thanksgiving to meet the baby and you said no. Now your saying no to Christmas in Boston? No way! I _am _your family, and we can start new traditions and keep growing. But you have family. I refuse to let you keep pretending like you don't. Refuse. I'm not going to live in isolation with you. I refuse to raise my children to believe that we are the only people that love them, because we're not. Work is not going to be the most important thing in _my _family. We're doctors, I understand that our holidays might not be conventional all of the time…But this year? We had the chance. I'm a newlywed so…Owen knew how important these holidays are. Even before…everything….I had these holidays off. I don't care that you worked. But you just…My mom just wanted to come and cook me dinner. Instead, I spent the day trying not to cry into this casserole, rationalizing your behavior. But now I know it's impossible. You just want to take every holiday away from me for the rest of my life? No! My daughter and I are going to Boston for Christmas. Harper will deal with having me in his pictures. And you can stay here if you want."

The tears she'd been trying to hide from him all night came then. He let her run to the bedroom. But then Arabella started to cry.

"Got it!" he called, happy for an excuse not to think right then.

* * *

"You made pecan pie."

"Yep, you told me it was your favorite."

"It is." Jackson undressed and picked up the pie he'd left on the bedside table before crawling into bed. "Diva got me back for you. I don't know what was in that diaper but it definitely didn't stay inside." April smiled, but didn't take her eyes off her Bible. "Hey, can we please squash this? I'm sorry."

She stared at him as he ate her mom's famous pecan pie out of the tin. He offered her a forkful, but she shook her head. "Sorry isn't good enough here Jackson." She turned back to the Bible.

He slowly swallowed the bite meant for her, considering, and cleared his throat. "I spent every Thanksgiving or Christmas until I didn't need a babysitter at Boston Gen or the foundation because my mother and grandfather gave the help off." April looked up, but didn't say a word. "After that, I spent one Thanksgiving at my friend Bobby's house, but that only lasted a year. His aunt Greta kept asking which project I lived in, no matter I was wearing an Armani suit. So, that Christmas I just went to the foundation again. That's when I started reading medical journals and trying to ignore grandpa's snide remarks about not making my head hurt too much."

"Sorry, babe. Really. But that doesn't…"

"I don't know how to do holidays April. I know how to work."

"I don't forgive you. You should've told me. And all anyone wanted you to do this holiday was eat the home-cooked meal that would've been ready for you as soon as you walked in the door. All you did was take a holiday away from your wife and daughter."

"I didn't realize that until tonight. And even though I get why you're mad, I have no concept whatsoever of what I've taken away from you."

"Bullshit."

"It's not!"

"That's like saying you never got a Christmas present as a child."

"I got my first Christmas present when I was fifteen. My girlfriend gave it to me before holiday break. Then she broke up with me and took it back because I didn't have anything for her."

"I don't believe you."

"It's not like I ever wanted for anything at all. But Harper and Catherine were less inclined to celebrate commercialism than the birth of Jesus Christ. I didn't live in a box. I saw the lights and trees and Santa. I know in theory. But honestly, April. I really don't know."

She took the fork from him and ate a bite of pie, lost in thought, remembering one Christmas Eve in particular. She was a senior in college, home for the holidays waiting for med school acceptance letters. Libby and Kimmie had met their husbands, and even Alice was dating a kid named Simon from church. Everyone was over.

It was a tough one for her, she'd just broken up with her boyfriend, not that they were serious. No one in the family even knew he existed. As April sat on the couch in her living room, watching her sisters kiss and whisper with boys they thought they loved, she'd wondered what her future husband was doing.

She imagined him kissing or whispering with some other girl, or maybe singing a hymn with a church choir or carefully decorating a lopsided gingerbread house as if it were a Jenga tower about to collapse any second. Or maybe he was sitting on the couch in his living room, watching his brothers whisper into their girlfriends' ears. Never did she imagine he might be more alone than she felt.

"What were you doing on Christmas eve, your senior year of college?"

"What? I don't know. Probably checking sports scores, waiting on med school decisions, drinking a beer. I never celebrated anything. Even if I had a girlfriend, I…why would you ask me that?"

"Because. I was thinking about you."

Jackson smirked. "Oh come on! You asked him the same question last year."

His name was hardly ever spoken in their house. "No! I resent that assumption. I was working last Christmas eve, with you actually….remember? We had the guy whose brother pushed him through a glass window."

"Oh yeah."

"I had a wedding to plan. It was about a month away, in Seattle. He had to work and….I met his family on Thanksgiving. I figured….he'd meet everyone when he met them."

"Ok."

"I just…did you ever think of having a family? I know you say no….it's romantic but…not even around the holidays?"

"It's the truth April. Look, I wasn't trying to be the Grinch who stole Thanksgiving, OK? I really did have to work and…she can't fly and I really didn't want you to leave me, anyway. And I don't know what it's like to…this in-law thing is new to me. I was just….I wanted it to be you and me and…I do understand it was a holiday. For me, right now that just means overtime. I'll fix it. I'll try. But I'm still worried about Christmas in Boston."

"Well, get over it because we don't have options this year." Her tone wasn't nasty, though. "You'll never be alone on a holiday again. Even if you work, we'll be here waiting."

She imagined Jackson exaggerated his story just a little bit. She could picture Catherine leaving a present on his bed and never acknowledging why. But that didn't change the fact that it seemed her husband was very lonely for every holiday he could remember so far.

Perhaps, she thought, he'd been lonely more often than not before 10.5 months ago. Sometimes she caught him talking to Arabella and it broke her heart. He told her he loved her, that she was the most beautiful, smartest baby girl in the world. And he always said he was sorry for his mistakes, that he'd try harder to be better. Even though in April's mind there was nothing to be sorry for. He was doing his best. Even since he'd gone back to work, at the very least he kissed them both twice every 24 hours.

"I forgive you."

"Yeah?" He offered her another bite of pie, a test. She ate it.

"Yes. But I'm going to ask Catherine about those Christmas presents."

"She's better now, she'll probably spoil the diva rotten, but I wasn't lying." He tucked a piece of hair behind her ear and started kissing her neck.

"What do you think you're doing?" But it had been eight long weeks, she couldn't keep the giggle out of her voice.

"Making it up to you." He smirked, rolling on top of her.

"Jacks…I haven't told you if Pace cleared me yet or not."

"He did."

"Yeah, you telepathically joined us at the doctor yesterday afternoon, in your sleep?" Both of their schedules were crazy lately. Between the baby and Jackson getting back to work, tonight was the first night in a couple days they really had a bit of time together, which is why the fight was unfortunate.

"I may have a lot to learn about family, but I know you April Avery. If you weren't cleared I wouldn't be on top of you right now…you can't control yourself."

"Hey! Watch it."

"Just being honest, babe. I like that you insist on finishing what we start."

She blushed. "I'm clear."

"Mmmmm….How about we start a new tradition right now."

She smirked but didn't stop him from taking off her shirt. "What tradition is that?"

"Thanksgiving sex."

"You can't make it sound romantic?"

"It is what it is, babe," he said, between kisses. "Sleep in tomorrow. I'll make you breakfast before work. And pump so I can feed her."

"OK, You are romantic….can you slow down please? Those are sore, you share them now."

He obliged long enough to give her a disgusted look. "It is what it is," she shrugged, and on cue Arabella started wailing on the monitor. "Speaking of that….thanks for the head start." She yawned and headed toward the nursery, topless.

Before she got to the doorway she saw her husband fall back on his pillows like a defeated puppy, and couldn't help kissing his pout. "Don't worry, I always like to finish what we start. And we can't let our first Thanksgiving end without a tradition, even if it is a selfish one."

"On the contrary I'm thinking all about you, here...you'll see…" But just to prove his point further he got up to pour her an ice water, and join her while she fed and rocked Bellie back to sleep. And as he sat there and watched his wife and child, he realized there might be a point to these holidays after all, even if it was just an excuse to spend time with his girls.


	4. Christmas: Year One (Careful)

**Merry Christmas from Jackson, April, &amp; Arabella, and me! [And Tenley and Braelyn and Adelaide, but they don't exist yet.] This is Christmas, Year One in Boston, as I imagine it. There is really too much going on here to explain it. I hope you just read and enjoy, though it's not exactly the merriest. I suppose there's a potential for more here, but there always is in this universe. ALWAYS! I hope you've all had a lovely day, whether you celebrate or not. Please forgive errors, I really wanted to get this up before midnight, but had a lot to finish. Please send me thoughts, I like hearing from you!**

* * *

Christmas, Year One: Careful

"He'll insist on Chinese, but you don't have to eat it. He goes to bed early, what do you feel like having? Mom and I like this Jamaican place across town, beef patties to die for, and they open for dinner."

"Sure babe, whatever you want. Here at least give me the baby. I'm perfectly capable of carrying something," April insisted, grabbing three-month old Arabella from Jackson as they made their way up the drive of the Avery estate.

"Remember, I told you we could try this but…it's not going to be like you're used to. I've never bought presents home, he only listens to classical music…. and I really don't think the 'no business' rule will work for more than maybe five minutes. He's not going to hug you…. he might just stare you down and say something snide. I've got you. It's not worth saying anything. He'll respect you more if you just take it."

"Jackson, he's your grandfather…. not even a stranger to me, if you count that one time….Relax." She squeezed his free hand with hers, and started her finger toward the bell, confident. _Always ring the bell, no matter the guy at the gate let you in," _she remembered Jackson's instructions in the car.

But her finger never made it to the button. A short woman, around Catherine's age, maybe a little bit older, swung the door open and threw her arms out to Jackson. April was glad she had taken Arabella; because her husband immediately dropped the bag he was holding and wrapped her in a hug.

"Marisol, que haces aquí? Donde está Emillio? Debes estar en la casa de Marissa hoy, por la semana."

But instead of answering him, she reached up and smacked his shoulder. April couldn't help but giggle despite her surprise.

"You speak English por tu linda esposa. Enseñe mejor, Mr. Jackson, y entran la casa, Dios mío."

"Ok, Ok," Jackson smirked. "Lo si…sorry." He pulled April into the foyer and picked up the bag again, huge smile on his face.

"Babe, this is Marisol….she's grandpa's housekeeper now….but she pretty much raised me. Mari, this is…"

"April y Arabella, I know."

April couldn't help but smile. Their joy was infectious, though she felt a little bit embarrassed that she'd never even heard this woman's name before. "Hi, so nice to meet you!"

"No be mad at Mr. Jackson, esta familia ha mezclado sus secretos." Mari whispered when she went in for a half hug, motioning with her fingers to help April understand better. This family mixes up their secrets.

"Mari, hold the baby!" Jackson ordered excitedly. But both women shook their heads.

"Ay, no! Ve a tu cuarto, saluda a su madre y su abuelo. Cálmese Jackson! Me quedaré. Cuando el señor Harper dijo que ibas a venir para la Navidad con su esposa y su hija ... No te lo pierdas!"

"She can, Jackson. But let's get settled, say hello….I need to feed her and she needs a nap, she cried the whole ride from the airport."

Jackson shrugged, walking upstairs with the bags. April followed behind, uncomfortable. "Mari, come with us. Show April the nursery." He turned to April as they continued up a huge spiral staircase. "She understands every word you say, right Mar? But she only speaks Spanglish."

"Sí, sí. Pero es un trabajo para una abuela o un bisabuelo. Les dire´que estás aquí."

Jackson grumbled and April waited for a translation, that she soon realized she'd have to ask for. "Showing you the nursery…it's the job of a grandmother or great-grandfather. As if they did anything at all besides tell her what to order and where to put it. She's telling them we're here."

"Oh…well, I want to see them. And at least Mari's here, right? Maybe together she and I will be able to teach you Averys how to celebrate a holiday."

"She said that before, downstairs. When she heard I was coming with you and Bellie for Christmas she wouldn't miss it. Because she knows…"

"She knows what, babe?" April encouraged.

"You two don't deserve us, that's all."

"Yes we do. We know the same person, I can tell. And we both love him very much. And he and his daughter deserve the best first Christmas."

"You can try," he mumbled, not sounding very convinced. April would've forced him to be more excited, but she heard Catherine's heels clicking up the staircase.

"There you are," She kissed their cheeks and took Arabella from April. "Harper will see you in the parlor, you know how he is, doesn't leave the first floor of this place for anything but sleep and will deny it until he's blue in the face, but we know better, right diva?" She kissed the baby's cheek and she started to fuss, but Catherine ignored it, bouncing her slightly. April tried to fight what Catherine called "a new mommy's urge to coddle" and bit her lip instead of taking her child back.

"Emillo keeps going on about prime rib," Catherine wrinkled her nose. "Never been my first choice but he swears you love it, baby." Jackson shrugged, he did. And he supposed that was a proper Christmas meal. "Well anyway, Harper is fine with it. But you are the guest, April. You should've heard them talking about 'la 'mujer' this morning. As if you never snuck a woman through this house, Jackie."

April brushed off the comparison to her husband's teenage hookups, Catherine didn't mean anything by it. But she'd had enough of watching her baby cry, and ever so gently tugged her from her grandmother's arms. "Dinner sounds lovely, but I've really got to get this one down somewhere. Where's the best place so we can visit but hear her?"

"Oh I don't know how to work all of the monitors and things, April. I just told Mari to buy the best. Feed the diva though, so you can at least have one cocktail with us. That's part of the holidays, right? Drinking?" She squeezed April's shoulder, kissed the baby, and went back downstairs.

Jackson rolled his eyes and punched numbers into a fancy looking screen on the wall. "Mari, ven aca! I told you we would need your help with the nursery. Are there monitors? Might as well go home if not, this mama actually cares to hear her child cry." He yawned when both April and Mari chastised him from their respective locations. It was going to be a long three days.

* * *

"Where's the child?"

"Nice to see you, too, grandpa. You're welcome for bringing our 10-week-old to your photoshoot."

"We're visiting him for the holiday!" April reminded her husband, through gritted teeth. To Harper, she said, "Bellie's sleeping…..sir. She had a pretty rough time napping the whole trip. But…I'm going to wake her in about two hours to eat. Sorry." She ignored Jackson's angry grumbling after she apologized. Haprer nodded, but continued to stare at her, waiting for something. "Oh, April, April Kepner, nice to meet you." She held out her hand, maintained eye contact, just as Jackson had taught her. Lessons he'd been forced to master by the man right in front of her.

"I believe we've met." Jackson cringed when his grandfather didn't accept his wife's hand, a classic sign that you've not earned respect. He hated to admit it, but he'd picked it up himself. He quickly guided April's arm to her sides, then her fingers between his, and placed a trail of kisses down her neck, staring at Harper the whole time.

But April didn't back down. "Avery actually. My name is Dr. April Avery." She forced a laugh, felt her husband smile against her. "You'd think I'd remember, almost a year now. But patients still stare at my lab coat funny, I'm so used to saying Kepner."

"After the…Arabella was born, you took the name?" He knew the answer to this, Jackson had had enough.

"Babe, let's sit down, have a drink….Mari, por favor. Dos jugos de arándano naranja con seltzer. Tienes?" She and Emillio lived in a separate house on the property, but as far as he was concerned it was her home, her kitchen.

"Dos? Quieres burbon?"

"Not until April can drink."

"Jackson, drink whatever you want." But he refused, just as she refused to back down from Harper. "I switched my name to my husband's personally and professionally as soon as I could. It was important to me that my children and I share a name, in every aspect of my life."

"So, this pregnancy was planned, then?"

"That's enough. April do not answer that." She took a sip of the drink Marisol had thankfully handed her a few seconds before. Nothing that happened between she and her husband during that trip was exactly planned, but they'd shared glances, whispers, they did not want to prevent anything.

"I'm simply trying to assess her motivations here."

"They were thoroughly assessed by your partner-in-crime and an amended post-nuptial agreement was signed. That's it!"

"Jackie, you can't exactly blame me for having questions, here. You've kept her away for almost a year, there's a child and I'm supposed to….."

"Accept my complete happiness? Yes! And she's the only reason we're here at all, by the way. I knew you'd be like this and I didn't want to deal with you!"

"Relax, honey. I'm sorry." She rubbed the back of his head with her fingertips. Sometimes it calmed him.

"No April, stop apologizing! You're not doing anything wrong!"

"My only motivation here is love." She said it to the room, but was looking at Jackson.

She'd underestimated just how difficult this holiday would be, and had refused to accept that the Avery's had no concept of Christmas. But her husband wasn't exaggerating, and if the night continued like this she didn't know if she would last.

The silence that followed was full of tension, but welcome. Jackson did wish he had that bourbon, but if he went glass-for-glass with his grandfather the night could get scary, and he knew April was already uncomfortable.

She jumped when she heard her baby's cries, but they weren't coming from the monitor. Catherine sauntered into the room with the infant in her arms, oblivious to everything.

"I saw the outfit laid out and I just couldn't resist….We are ready for our close-up a day early, aren't we diva? Now if only Nana knew how to stop these tears."

April felt her own tears forming behind her eyes. All she'd wanted for her baby since they'd arrived was some rest. They hadn't been there long, but she'd gotten none, and her fits would only get worse. This was just supposed to be a nice dinner with the in-laws.

"I was gonna let her sleep and change her into that before dinner," she whispered to Jackson, defeated; and he was officially done.

"Ma…no. You literally went in there and woke her up, forget about changing the outfit. I honestly don't know if you've ever taken care of an infant but they need sleep. And we want you to spend some time with her, so we just wanted her to get some…you know what? I could use a nap too…come on sweetheart, let's go upstairs."

He turned away from his grandfather, took his daughter from his mother, and waited for his wife to lace her fingers in his before heading upstairs. They'd been in the house just over an hour.

* * *

"Round one to them," Jackson sighed when April came in to the bedroom after putting Bellie down again.

"It's not about that, Jackson. I mean, obviously she wants to visit the baby but…she can't just…"

"I know. I was talking about Harper, though. You Ok?"

"I mean…he's just…you have a lot of money and…he has a legacy to protect. But I love you, I'm not…"

"Sweetheart, I know that. I asked if you were OK. This is how it is when we're not talking business, most of the time. I'm prepared to go all visit, if that's what you want. But, we can also go home. We can be home, rested, and have a makeshift Christmas by tomorrow evening, babe."

"No, no. We already did that for Thanksgiving. Now I know you weren't exaggerating. And…there are people here who have given up their Christmas so you can have one. They're making prime rib. We'll hand out presents. I wish I knew about Mari and her husband….I'd have brought them something. Also, I brought a game….Trivial Pursuit, it felt like it might work, but I'm second-guessing that right now."

"Mmm how about we take a note from our girl and nap about it?"

"Nap about it?"

"Yeah. You're gonna lay down and let me hold you. Then you're gonna close your eyes and relax…forget the last hour ever happened. When you wake up your girl will be rested and happy and dinner will be ready."

"You sleep too, and forget."

"Ok."

"How are you gonna help me forget?"

"You need help?"

"Yeah."

"How's that?" he whispered, after placing the usual trail of kisses down her neck.

"Good," she yawned, closing her eyes.

"Good." He kissed her until he heard her breath steady, and tried to close his own eyes.

But he was too upset. This is what April said she wanted, an Avery Christmas, no matter that it would never be traditional. Yet he feared he hadn't prepared her enough. She was determined not to back down from Harper, so he could only protect her so much.

Harper Avery was not Catherine Fox, though. A signed post-nuptial agreement, and even Jackson's love was not enough for him. He'd keep drilling until he found a reason she was worthy of his name. It's why, even if he passed a giggling teenage girl holding his grandson's hand in the hallway of the estate over Schilling Academy's holiday break, Harper had never learned her name.

A knock startled Jackson about an hour after April fell asleep and he jumped, stirring her. "Ma, shut up! They're sleeping," Jackson spit, opening the door.

"Lo siento, Mr. Jackson. Tengo agua. La cena es en una hora. No vas a salir, verdad?"

"No vamos. No te preocupes."

"Él habla sobre el bebé. No puede creer que tienes un bebé."

Marisol saw the best in everyone. And Jackson knew Harper wasn't a bad boss. Maybe not conversational, but he'd taken care of she and her husband for over three decades now, and she took care of him.

"Yeah, well, he'd better watch the way he's speaking to my wife, or I will take my baby back to Seattle. You didn't delay your Christmas for that, Mari. But sorry, the way this is going that might happen." But he grinned and took one of the waters she offered. "Thanks for checking us, see you in an hour."

"She takes care of you," April grumbled when he shut the door, slowly waking from her nap.

"She takes care of everyone. Go back to sleep, April."

"Nope," she yawned, sitting up in bed. "Baby can sleep until 20 minutes before we have to be down there…but we have to get dressed."

"I'm not wearing a suit."

"Please babe. Pretend like you owe me for I don't know…maybe forgetting it was Thanksgiving last month or something."

"It's a dinner we'll be lucky to survive."

"It's Christmas dinner Jackson! Please!"

She broke out the pout he could never resist but he didn't kiss it. He just groaned, turning away from her. "Fine."

"Thank you. I'm gonna shower first because it will take longer and I have to get her ready."

"Or we could shower together….? Bellie's sleeping, it will be fast." He tried, hopeful.

"Get that off of your mind for the next three days. No sex for you in Harper Avery's house."

"He lives in a whole other wing. Besides, I didn't mean…I meant literally shower," he tried to recover. "But also get a few minutes together."

"I need a few minutes alone," she lied. He would keep his word, but she didn't feel like being tempted.

"Ok, love. You're good, right? You know that nothing that happens in this house matters. Nothing they say is going to affect us…or me, or make me…"

"I know, Jackson." She smiled at his earnestness. "We've been married for almost a year, we have a baby…you'd better not leave me because your grandpa thinks nurses can be trauma surgeons." They were Harper's words, not hers. And she knew he said them with the utmost respect for nurses. He respected most every surgical specialty aside from trauma and plastics, Jackson had warned her with a laugh. But he had a leg up, not necessarily because of Avery blood, but because plastic surgery required finesse.

"I am _never _going to leave you, understand me? The one word I'll never say to you is the 'd' word."

"I dunno, there better be a few others, too."

He just smirked. "Get your butt in the shower, the faster you are, the more likely I'll actually resist sneaking in there."

"Hey! You better not come in," she squealed a little bit when he smacked her ass as she headed toward the bathroom. "In fact, make yourself useful and lay out her clothes again please. Don't wake her up yet, though."

He nodded, vowing to himself he'd be as obedient to her as possible the rest of this visit. It was the least he could do. He could only imagine what might come out of his grandfather's mouth next.

* * *

"Oh, _she's_ sitting with us?" Harper inquired, as soon as they made their way into the dining room.

"Yeah grandpa, she slept. I don't know how you raised babies in this house but ours doesn't stare at ceilings all day. Or strangers…."

"Ok, Jackson, enough!" April tried, through gritted teeth. To Harper, "She has trouble sometimes…latching, and it takes awhile to feed. I'm sorry, but I need her to be…"

"Don't apologize. Just sit and eat and do what you have to do. We don't have to answer to him." He grabbed the baby carrier from her, too roughly, and Arabella started to cry. "I'm sorry, diva…shhh, shhhhh, daddy's sorry…"

April cut her eyes at him. "She was at least quiet. She's hungry and now…"

"Ok, relax. _You _eat something first. She can wait a minute. Babe, you freak out and make her nervous and make it worse."

"Yeah well, it's not my fault this time." Harper and Catherine just stared at them, letting out audible sighs of relief when Marisol came in with salad.

"Oh, aren't you going to sit?" April blinked at the salad in front of her, then up at the woman who served her.

"I eat in kitchen…in between."

"It's…it's Christmas."

Jackson reached his hand across the table to grab his wife's. It was both to comfort her, and plead with her to let it be. This particular argument was not worth having during this trip. "Hey look, she's quiet." He kissed his daughter's cheek and April shrugged, taking a bite of food.

Harper cleared his throat. "Dr. Kepner, are you going back to work in the new year?"

"Avery, grandpa…and you could be…we're at your dining room table, not in a board room."

But April ignored her husband. "No, actually. I'm taking the full six-month paid maternity offered by Grey-Sloan. That way hopefully feeding options will be more flexible. I don't want to switch to formula, and I only make bottles when I absolutely need to. I plan on going back to work, but she comes first. I think six months is the least amount of time an infant needs you to devote to them alone."

She knew she was giving Harper too much information for his liking. But she didn't care. She saw Jackson trying his best, but he couldn't show he'd changed in one visit. She was going to make sure Harper understood.

"Six months paid leave? When did that happen?" Harper looked between Catherine and Jackson.

Catherine took a bite of food, and took her time to swallow. "Jackson instituted it when April got pregnant. There's also a transition schedule the first two months back. Women can't be asked to do overtime and schedules are more…flexible."

"Jackie, explain this nonsense."

"No thank you. I'm eating Christmas dinner with my family." As if on cue, Emillio and Mari entered to cut and serve the main course.

April didn't have a bite to her lips before Bellie started to cry. "Ok, she's ready to try again…I'm ready too, diva."

"You want me to feed you while she eats, mama?" He moved the carrier from a chair to the table, so she could take the baby.

April smiled and nodded at her husband as she started adjusting her top. She knew he didn't see it as romantic. He was just doing what needed to be done. But he made her feel so incredibly cared for most of the time, and at one time that was all she'd ever dreamed of in a husband.

"Oh for heaven's sake, you're not going to….this is a dinner table. Be civilized."

It was his words and his tone that physically startled her. All of his words, and each tone he'd taken with her that whole day caught up with her. She thought she could handle it, that she was being strong. But in reality she had only been deflecting his insults all day. She had no idea how to confront them, especially not this one. She reached for her baby and headed toward the kitchen, doing a terrible job of holding back tears.

"Grandpa, can't you just make it easy on someone, for once? She's my wife."

"It is simply not appropriate to breastfeed at a formal dinner table, Jackson. Had I known of your plans, I would have put a stop to them before it got to this point."

"Not just this, EVERYTHING. From the second we walked in….you haven't even tried to be welcoming. I've seen you be nicer to _potential _investors before. She's the real thing grandpa, fully invested in this family…because she loves me! I'll be damned before I let you…either of you break her down. You can try, but…She's my Genevieve and that's it. Get that through your head. My Genevieve!"

He didn't yell but he slammed his fist down on the table, and April jumped again, from the spot she was eavesdropping in the kitchen. The baby started crying so she sat on a stool at the counter, and wiped her tears. Jackson had gone out the other entrance and upstairs.

"Ay, Miss April. Necessitas comer tambien. Un momento." April hadn't noticed both Emillo and Marisol staring at her. Marisol shooed her husband away, presumably to clear plates. She started fixing April a new one.

"But I didn't touch my food. I'll eat that one. It's not even cold."

"No! Emillio lo comerá. Or he will…make another. Estamos trataron bien aquí. Pero, yo no quiero estar en esa mesa de la cena," she whispered the last part, and April remembered enough high school Spanish to get it." She let herself chuckle as she got Arabella into position to feed. She didn't want to be at that table either.

"OK, diva, you're in control. Time to eat now though."

"Mama tambien." Marisol put a new plate in front of her and held out a forkful of food, which April felt both obliged and grateful to accept.

"Gracias. Mari? Quien es Genevieve?"

"La abuela de Jackson."

"Jackson's grandmother?"

"Sí…grandma…" Mari nodded. April had so many more questions, but her Spanish was not advanced enough to begin to broach the subject. "Ay Miss April, escúchame. Bellie no está tiendo todo el…how you say? Pezón…en su boca."

April was trying to listen. But then the baby was fussing. "I'm sorry…I don't…"

"You have to help her, babe. Literally, put the…food….. in her mouth." Jackson wanted to be careful. He wasn't shy about anatomy or helping her breastfeed. But he didn't want to deal with Harper chastising him to be more proper behind the very private walls.

"Thanks but…we're talking here." Marisol and Jackson shared a smile.

"That's what Mari said…I just omitted the potentially improper word. But I mean…for the sake of my daughter at this point," he shrugged. "Shove your nipple in her mouth. Sometimes you don't…I think if you were more assertive at first, the whole problem would be avoided."

"Was that supposed to have a double meaning?" she asked, when Mari was satisfied that Bellie was feeding and left the newlyweds alone to eat.

"No! Are you OK? Honestly? I needed a minute but I thought you might need one too. It's him, not you."

"OK." April nodded, but Jackson saw a familiar pout.

"OK. We'll eat and then sleep and get out of here as early as possible tomorrow."

"We have to do presents and dessert. It's Christmas. And we're not skipping the shoot."

"April, they didn't get us any…"

"I don't care. It's my daughter's first Christmas. And I get a holiday this year. One holiday. Even a dysfunctional one. I got them presents."

"Fine," he sighed. "If you insist."

"I do."

"Hey. I love you. Sorry. I should've come straight in here, but…"

"It's fine, you said what you had to, needed to cool off. I'm fine. I love you, too. It's all good, she's eating, see?"

"Yeah because you'll listen to Mari, not me." He rolled his eyes, kidding, and offered her a forkful of food.

After a few minutes of silent eating, April felt brave. "Hey, so I was listening in here before, and…Mari said the name you said, the woman, was your grandma. Why did you say I'm your grandma?" April wrinkled her nose.

But Mari saved Jackson. "Dessert in twenty minutes. Mr. Harper and Miss Catherine en la sala. I make you strawberry shortcake y flan."

Jackson smiled at the thought. "You're the best, thanks. We'll be in in a second." He turned to April when she left. "Not now, OK? When we're alone. Remind me even."

She nodded and accepted a kiss. 'Remind me to talk about my family,' was gold coming from her husband's mouth.

* * *

Everyone was on their best behavior during dessert. Catherine rocked Bellie to sleep and feigned interest April's stories about the Kepners. Harper mostly watched and listened.

He mostly watched Jackson watch his wife talk. Sure, he'd never met any of the former girlfriends, he'd never expected to. His son had hurt Jackson too much. But he'd never seen the boy look at anyone so…carefully before. He was taking in every inch of her face, touching her when he could. Small touches. Her cheek, her shoulder, a kiss on the top of her hand.

Harper supposed this might've been what people saw when they watched him watch Genevieve. She spoke less than April, more slowly. So when she did, he'd wanted to drink in every word. Toward the end, her words were barely whispers, but he caught every syllable. The touching Jackson didn't get from him, though. Harper wasn't good with public affection, any kind at all. He preferred to stay behind his ice-cold wall, alone. People couldn't leave you if you stayed there, or die on you. Yes, Harper was careful with both his words and his touches these days.

Catherine passed a sleeping Arabella to Jackson, and Harper watched in a little bit of awe as his grandson placed a gentle kiss on the newborn's head before putting her in her carrier. He hadn't learned that in this house. Perhaps he was the one Avery who didn't need lessons. Or maybe all the credit was due to the woman next to him, whose shoulders he was now massaging. She kissed him in thanks and excitedly whispered that it was "present time."

"Oh, I didn't…"

"It's OK, Harper…I just got you one thing. It's your home, you go first." She handed him a small rectangular box. He carefully unwrapped it, putting a fully in tact piece of paper next to him.

"Oh. A two year gift subscription to the Journal of the American Society of Plastic Surgeons. How…"

"Jackson mentioned you get every single journal except plastics and trauma…so I thought you should start with this one. He's published all of the time. I only have one in the Journal of Trauma and Acute Care surgery. You should read your grandson's work…"

"April!" He whispered under his breath and she could tell she truly embarrassed him.

"Just to be clear…Jackson was not behind any of this. He wasn't ready to tackle the shopping aspect of Christmas."

"I suppose…..I suppose you're right dear." She nodded, satisfied and handed Catherine a bigger box.

"It goes from right after he asked me to…yesterday. I have a similar one at home." Jackson kissed April's blushing cheek as she thought about the photo albums they kept at home. Their "wedding weekend" took up a whole book. The morning after, Jackson woke up first, and he insisted on including shots of his wife barely wearing a sheet. They kept that particular album private. "I thought you might want to at least see….you know. Plus her firsts so far are in there….first night home, first bath…first smile."

Catherine flipped through, genuinely interested. "Thank you April…I'll keep this here, in her nursery."

"Oh, it's for you. I thought you might….keep it home."

"This is one of my homes, honey. I'm honestly at the hospital more than anywhere."

"Well, you could keep it there or…"

Jackson saw her fluster and pulled her in close to whisper. "Mari will take better care of it, sweetheart." Louder, to the room, he announced, "Ok, mom, we'll go put it in the nursery. Come on, April….let's go upstairs. She's going to want to eat soon. Goodnight, everyone."

Harper cleared his throat. "Oh, I was hoping to…meet the child before photos tomorrow. It will be so busy and I'm sure you'll take the plane right after." Harper wasn't stupid. If someone had treated Genevieve the way he'd treated April today, they'd leave as soon as possible. In fact, he even knew that'd be his grandson's preference. April was the reason they were still here.

"Yes, yes. Of course. Jackson, why don't you put the album away. We'll be up in a second." She nodded firmly. This was important to Harper, she could tell, and her husband would just rush it. He nodded back, accepting and kissed she and Bellie before heading upstairs. After Catherine said goodnight, suddenly there were just three.

"I won't bore you with how to hold her. But just be warned, she likes to stick her fingers in your mouth, not just hers."

Harper smiled. "Noted." He took her and supported her perfectly, but just kind of stared at her. Bellie was used to crazy faces and voices and bouncing. This might go south quickly.

"You can talk to her, you know."

"Yes but…not sure I know what to say."

"Oh anything. I tell her anything that pops in my head. I'm alone a lot lately," she laughed.

"I suppose I'll start with hi. Hi there, Arabella. I'm your great-grandfather."

"I thought we'd go with pop pop. So she can say it sooner."

Harper smiled up at April, surprised she'd thought of him. "Ok, then. Hi there, Arabella. I'm your pop pop. I'm sure you know what your mom and dad and grandmother do…I'm a surgeon too. Cardiothoracic. That involves the heart and lungs. Your heart is just behind your breastbone, to the left..."

It was certainly an inappropriate conversation to have with a newborn, but April wasn't going to stop him. He elevated his tone, a little bit at least. She chuckled when Arabella put her fingers in her pop pop's mouth to stop him herself.

"Oh, you don't like that, huh? OK, what do you like to talk about?"

"She likes you, though. She's usually crying by now if Jacks or I aren't holding her. She says 'oh oh' and 'ah ah' sometimes. Someone's already working on turning that into 'dada.'" April rolled her eyes.

"I suppose I owe you an apology,'" Harper said to April a minute after he got a faint 'oh' out of Arabella. April was waiting for an 'I'm sorry,' but that isn't what she got. "You are very careful with them."

"Careful with them? They're my _family_, sir! I know you don't like me, but I'm not going anywhere. I was trying to deal with you because he doesn't even see you often but…"

"Calm down, that's not what I…"

She whispered, aware he was holding Bellie, who miraculously still wasn't crying. But she was stern. "I will not calm down…no…"

"Dr. Avery!" That got her listening. "You misunderstand me. You're careful. With each other's hearts. Many people fall in love, not many people are careful."

She blinked. "Oh, sorry I…I guess we are. Thank you, Dr…"

"Harper…"

"Harper. Were you careful, with Genevieve's?" He was surprised to hear her name.

"I heard Jackson say it."

He nodded. "Until her very last breath." He was talking to April, looking at Arabella. His eyes changed, she saw it, and supposed it's what caused the baby to start crying.

April could see that this was the first real, honest emotion Harper had felt in years. It broke her heart that the first response he got to it was upset tears, even if they were from a newborn. She moved closer to them. "Sometimes, she wants Jackson, not food or a change or anything. Just Jackson. And lately I just have say 'tough,' but sometimes she just wants kisses, really…a few all over her face. Weird, I know but…you should try."

"Oh no. Didn't Jackson say she needed to eat again soon? Why don't you take her and…if you don't mind ask Jackson to my study for a drink? I'll see her tomorrow. Maybe the two of us will pose alone. "

April nodded, smiling and took the baby. She had a feeling it had been a long time since Harper Avery kissed anyone, and she was in no position to push. "Goodnight, it was very nice to meet you as your..." He nodded, silencing her. There had been progress tonight, that was all.

But before she turned around, "You'd like a big family, both of you?"

"Yes, I think so."

"I suppose we've robbed him of that. Boys and girls?"

"Well, whatever God gives us," she shrugged. She saw Harper smirk, but she didn't care. As nice as peace was, she was fine making certain compromises in faith for her husband, but no one else. And that was because he only asked for things like permission to check sports scores and tune out the pastor in church. She turned away, baby in hand, and went upstairs to try and convince Jackson to come down for a bourbon.

* * *

An hour and a half later he came stumbling into the bedroom. "Told you it was a bad idea!" he announced, kicking off his pants and crawling into bed.

"Shhhh! The nursery is attached to this room!" but she giggled. He started kissing her, but she stopped it quickly. "Nuh uhh. No way. No sex in Boston."

"I'm tipsy, not drunk."

"Don't care if you're dry as the desert. No sex in Boston."

"Quickie in Boston?"

She raised an eyebrow. "You are drunk. That's sex."

"Fine. Orgasm in Boston?"

She bit her lip. That could be negotiated in many creative ways, and they both knew it. "Not tonight, babe. What did he say, anyway? We had a good talk."

"You are not me. You are much prettier, thankfully."

"Did he want to talk about Genevieve?"

"Nope."

"Do you want to talk about Genevieve?"

"No. Tomorrow. And Mari gets to hold my baby all morning."

"Mkay, you got it."

"Sorry your Christmas sucked."

"It didn't babe. Not at all. I was with you and our girl." She kissed his forehead.

"Next year we do something Christmasy."

"Ok, we'll make a gingerbread house. That will be fun with a 14-month-old."

"He doesn't get to yell at us."

"What'd he yell at you about?"

"I don't know. Giving you hope. Balancing my career. I'm unbalanced." He closed his eyes against her shoulder.

"I love you anyway."

"Sorry I'm drunk. You made me."

"You're right." She kissed his head. "You're tipsy. That's fine. It's fun. Sometimes necessary on Christmas. I should've listened to why you didn't want to come."

"Mmmm..S'ok….Merry Christmas April."

"Merry Christmas babe. Next year I'll be more careful with your heart," she whispered. He snored against her in reply, and unconsciously wrapped his arms around her.


	5. Thanksgiving: Year Two

**Hey guys! This is just the last of the 3 holiday oneshots for Early Years that I had in my head. I usually get little scenes in my head for oneshots and chapters in chunks and then when I sit to write something comes together that feels right. Honestly, I'm not 100 percent happy with how this came together, but this has been in my head too long, and parts of it work. Anyway, I have one more request I want to do and then I'm going to start the next piece of the multi-chapter. **

* * *

"Dada hi!" Bellie squealed when she saw Jackson walk through the door.

"Yeah, it's actually him this time, baby." Kimmie rolled her eyes and held her niece out to Jackson. "Here you go, daddy. Have fun! That diaper is full. She's been asking for you all day. She must really miss you. How long are your shifts?"

Jackson blinked. "This one was six hours. I woke her up and fed her this morning so April could sleep. She says five words. One of them is dada. Another is hi. Give these to my wife so I can change her?" He handed Kimmie a bouquet of flowers that he knew would look good as a centerpiece.

It was Thanksgiving, and he had a lot of making up to do for last year. That probably included getting along with his in-laws, but he wasn't going to let Kimmie insinuate that he didn't spend enough time with his kid, especially when her husband seemed to be in the back watching the football game at the moment, ignoring his boys. He and April both worked, but when they were off, they made sure to focus on Bellie.

"Dada hi!"

"Hi diva. You look so pretty in your purple dress. Let's clean you up though." He waved a general greeting to the room and ran to the nursery holding the baby like a football just to make her laugh.

"Why do you have her? I need your hands free. I need you next to me at all times, blocking me, drinking this," April gestured wildly toward a tray of drinks on the counter. April came at her husband frantically when he entered the kitchen with Bellie.

"Geez, just tell them. It's almost time anyway. Good to see you, by the way."

"Absolutely not. Forget about the fact that it's bad luck. Kim thinks she knows and she's already starting the passive aggressive 'my husband cheats on me but at least I spend all of my time with my kids' comments. Excuse me for deeming saving lives and contributing to my household a worthy lesson to teach my daughter," April huffed.

Jackson just laughed. "Babe you know they don't say 'cheats' out loud." She rolled her eyes at him, but he saw a half smile. "Seriously just don't put alcohol in yours, it's clear anyway who would know?"

"All of them, somehow."

"Come on, you're preg…"

"Shhhh!"

"I'm not going to be your shadow all night. That's going to be more obvious."

"No, no, no!"

"That's right baby. No, no no we won't do that. But we'll do anything else. What do you need?"

"Put her down and pick up a tray, please. Maybe watch the kids so my sisters will come in here? We're supposed to cook together. That's what we do!"

"I don't get it. How does this work in Moline? Aren't there three grown men in the den?" He stole a pepperoni roll off of a tray and bit it in half, handing the other half to his daughter on the floor. "Chew it well, yummy!"

"The craft table is in the kitchen, the kitchen is bigger. And technically your penis absolves you from doing anything but eating and watching football in their minds. Grown men don't babysit. Not with me though."

"I know." He picked up a tray, heading toward the living room. Bellie crawled behind her dad. "I'm excited for the craft table."

"Don't get too excited, it's just coloring books and crayons. I didn't have time for anything else."

* * *

"Look babe, she did this…." Jackson came in the kitchen an hour later, showing her the scribbled on, multi-colored turkey.

"Good, she's learning what to do with a crayon. But the boys don't care if she puts it in her mouth. Watch them please, we still need about an hour. "How's it going out there?"

"Well the boys are over the coloring books, or they will be soon. But they keep getting sent back to 'mommy or your aunts' when they go back into the den, even when they're quiet."

"Oh Steve just…you can't talk to him during football." Kimmie waved away her husband.

"They're not Austin's kids," Libby stepped in for her husband.

"Or Bobby's," Alice chimed in for her boyfriend from her station, watching the cranberry sauce. "You guys wanted us in here, cooking."

"I don't…I'll watch them just…my kid can color for hours now. She's just discovered how. They're bored and I don't have action figures, I feel bad."

April sighed, feeling bad for her husband. She didn't understand why her mother refused to come. Her dad would definitely help with the kids. But Karen …didn't want to fly, she'd said. April knew she was just being punished for committing Christmas in Boston two years in a row. But she was happy Jackson took off Christmas and asked her to try again with his family this year. Even just the desire to try was a step for Jackson, and she wanted to support him. And the Averys were never going to pull off a traditional Thanksgiving. So she felt perfectly justified asking her family to sacrifice the holiday with in-laws to see her, especially since she was paying and doing most of the cooking. She'd admit she might never get the holiday balance perfect, but her whole extended family lived within a few miles of each other in Moline. They could make up holidays easily on a weekend.

"Just… I got as much done as I could when I was alone with her. Here taste this sweetheart…it might be missing a little something my mom would know…but this is a homemade stuffing." She held out a spoonful to him.

"Mmm…that's really good sweetheart. And I'll call Karen and figure out a way to explain this Christmas stuff to her, promise." Jackson was slowly starting to build a pretty good relationship with his mother-in-law. She took pity on the fact that his childhood was pretty much non-existant from her point of view. There was a lot of tension between she and April lately. But Jackson thought he might be able to start to fix things with one phone call.

He kissed his wife, ignoring her sisters' eye rolls and smirks. It wasn't his fault their significant others didn't want to pay attention to them. He was in love, his family was growing and amazing and teaching him so much about life. He was going to appreciate every moment he could with them. And if it were up to him, they'd announce that April was pregnant. But from the looks she got after just a kiss, he could understand her not wanting to deal with the jealousy that might come with that.

"Just go back…you have to watch them. Put the TV on in the living room. Bellie can color on the floor." April blushed after Jackson left. He couldn't even resist squeezing her hand on his way around the counter.

"Well aren't the Averys just perfect." Kimmie gulped down the last sips of a cinnamon apple martini and continued stirring the gravy, a little extra forcefully from what April could see.

"We're not perfect," she grumbled softly, sprinkling the crunchy onions on top of her casserole, and setting it aside.

"You guys do work a lot, but balance your schedules," Kimmie continued antagonizing. "Not that you need to work, he's a millionaire."

"Kimmie leave her alone, he's an atheist. I can't imagine being married to an agnostic let alone an…."

"We just don't talk about it. But we've been through…things. Things happened fast and…we worked through a lot…that first year. Now we're happy, but we work every day for it."

"Happy enough to have another baby, Apes?"

"What?" She wrinkled her nose, trying to look surprised. It was the first time Kimmie actually asked, she couldn't deny too adamantly.

"…Because it seems like this balance you claim to have is tough and, I wouldn't want you to put two children through…"

"Through what?" April spit. It was difficult. She and Jackson felt guilty Bellie spent so much time in daycare, but they both wanted to work. Jackson took Harper's money for only two reasons: because he earned it through foundation work or because it was for his daughter. And everything his mother had taken from Harper was to make his life better or because she'd earned it. They were not going to give up their careers and teach their children that it was all right to live off of others. And April resented that her sisters were trying to bully her to believe that her beliefs were wrong.

* * *

"Why are _you _here?" Five-year-old Jake cut his eyes at his Uncle Jackson.

"Um…it's my house…" Jackson chuckled at his nephew and shook his head, to suggest how silly the question was.

"Dada hi!" Bellie looked up from her place in his lap and stopped coloring.

He kissed her cheek. "Hi baby. Are you coloring a frog? Good girl, keep going."

Jake rolled his eyes and sighed. "I mean why you here not aunt April. You needa watch the game. And she just scribblin'. And mama says this not a house even if it fancy, she don't care 'bout havin' a 'partment. That's not good for your baby Uncle Jackson."

"I color, see?" Jake's brother Chase held up a dinosaur coloring page.

"Good job, bud." Jackson nodded at Chase. "Did you guys bring any toys? We can go into Arabella's room to play, there's a lot of room. We don't have to just color."

"No we can't 'acause mom needa see us or a growed up."

"I'm a grown up, Jake. I know you know that."

"I know. But you go to the room soon, watch football."

"No I'm not. Do you want to watch football, bud? We can put it on in here, and bring Bellie and Chase by the couch too…with their coloring."

"Daddy says football not for kids, even if I quiet. I goed in there but he sayed go to mommy."

"You're a little young to play, but you can watch, Jake. Let's go guys…" He started picking up the coloring books and headed toward the living room with Bellie, making her giggle with his airplane noises. Chase followed, and Jake stood up, but did not come around to the other side of the couch.

"My daddy will let me if it fer a kid."

"You've seen it, Jake. It's just guys in uniforms playing a game. Like basketball."

Jackson put on the game and turned up the volume. In the kitchen, April was grateful for the chance to escape her sisters' condescension, even if it was to yell at her husband. "Jacks…If you don't want to watch them then just…"

"I am!" he insisted, through gritted teeth, and then turned his attention back to Jake while she was still in the room. His back was to the television as he colored an alien. "What if we call your mom in here and ask her if it's ok?" Jake turned around and gave a small nod. Jackson called for Kim.

"Only because it's Uncle Jackson's house and it's Thanksgiving. The same rules apply at home, understand me? Football is daddy's time." The little boy nodded vigorously, and ran to sit next to Jackson.

He put Bellie down on the floor with her coloring book, close enough to reach her if she decided to try and eat them again; but he was determined to give his nephews some attention. He didn't know them well, or even know how to connect to kids very well. He was lucky with his daughter. He struggled a little bit when she was very young; he and April were still working through some things. But she had a personality that he understood and clicked with very quickly, and it wasn't hard to entertain a one-year-old.

Older kids, boys specifically, were a little bit of a different story at the moment. But he understood the desire, the need even, to sit on the couch with your dad and watch football. Like his nephews, he had also been denied the experience. He couldn't make up for their father's attitude, but he could try to create the experience to an extent.

He piled up a plate of appetizers for each of them, from the tray he'd brought in. He skipped the vegetables, going heavy on the meat. The boys stared, wide-eyed when he handed them their plates. "Just chew everything a lot, OK guys? Don't eat it too fast it's not going anywhere." They nodded, quiet.

"Hey April, can we get two sodas and a beer in here?" he called to his wife.

She shook her head, but was smiling when she came in to lay down the law. "I'm getting you guys some fruit punch with seltzer," she said to her nephews. They shrugged, knowing they were lucky just being allowed to break one rule today. "Not even your cousin will be allowed to drink soda when she's older," she informed everyone, including her husband.

"Be very careful," she said to the room when she came back. "I got everyone a big boy glass with no lid because you need that for a football game. But if you spill, everyone in this room is responsible to clean up. Don't call me in here, I'm cooking your dinner."

"Thanks aunt April for a big glass."

"You're welcome, Jake."

"Thanks. I a big boy."

"You are, Chase," she said, moving the glass he had just put down to a coaster. "And big boys use coasters, or your Uncle Jackson will be in so much trouble and have to buy me a new coffee table."

"No water rings or spills, scout's honor." He pulled her in for a kiss before she left. "Thank you for my big boy glass."

"You were not a boy scout, Jackson Avery…that means nothing."

"You kiss her too much," Jake informed Jackson when she was gone.

"You can't kiss someone you love too much."

"Yeah daddy says enough enough enough always to mommy's kissing."

He was not gonna touch that one. "Do you guys know how to play? In this room you're allowed to ask questions. Just not allowed to spill."

"I know how to play it," Jake was confident. Jackson guessed from experience that maybe if he was quiet enough sometimes, his dad didn't even know he was in the room.

He noticed Bellie had lost interest in her crayons and was staring at the running helmets. He picked her up so she could have a better view, bouncing her on his knee.

"Can't just mind his business, he had to go try and be the perfect dad to my kids." Kimmie whisper-snickered at April when she came back.

"Um…I think he's just trying to be a good uncle, actually. Fathering his own kid is enough," April shot back. "It's work for him, connecting."

"But he does the work, he overcomes it." Kim rolled her eyes.

"He does. So what? Why can't you just be happy that I found a great guy?"

Everyone knew the answer to that, and not even April wanted to hear it today. "Just…Can we stop talking about your perfect life and cook?"

"Yeah," April whispered, just to be done with it. But she resented all of her sisters' attitudes. She wasn't the one claiming to have a perfect life. Happy, yes. But far from perfect.

* * *

"Thanks for dinner ladies, it was delicious." He said it to the whole living room during dessert, but April got the kiss.

"Thanks for watching the kids, without mom and dad, it made cooking a lot easier." They weren't even Alice's kids. April wasn't close to any of her sisters, but Jackson found that Alice was the most tolerable.

"Yeah….you really went over the top Jackson, football with the boys _and _feeding Bellie on your lap." Kimmie rolled her eyes.

It was easier to help her eat on his lap in the dining room, so he'd made an executive decision to nix the highchair. But then Chase wanted to sit with his dad, and it had almost caused a meltdown. Almost.

"My kid, my decision Kim. And sorry, but the boys were bored and we had fun."

"They weren't my coloring books," she snapped.

"I'm sorry honey," April whispered to Jackson. "Sorry I didn't have time to think up an itinerary of activities for your kids. But they seemed perfectly content to watch football and eat with Jackson," she said to her sister.

Kimmie only blushed, because Steve was in the room. "Stop apologizing sweetheart," Jackson said so everyone could hear. "You have nothing to apologize for." He fed her a bite of his pecan pie.

"Except maybe the lying." Libby barely whispered.

"Whh-what?"

"You're pregnant, right? Is it me? Is that why you're hiding it? That's offensive, you know? I'm an adult." Libby and Austin had been struggling with infertility for years. "Kimmie includes me every time."

"What? No! Libby you live in Ohio. I don't. And I'm not…I'm not pregnant."

Kimmie scoffed. "Oh yeah? Take a sip of Jackson's coffee," she challenged, pointing at the mug in front of him.

"Mama!" Bellie interrupted her mom, holding out her sippy cup of milk. She always seemed to save her parents.

"I prefer milk," April said, after taking a big sip. "Thank you diva."

"Hmm…" Her sister just snickered. "It's disgusting. You think you're too good to tell your family about your pregnancy."

"I….I don't think I'm…"

"You made it very clear you were not coming to our Christmas ever again, so if we wanted to see you it was on your terms."

"Wait a minute. Don't put that on her. I have business in Boston every December."

"Family business you can do at any time."

"I really don't have a say in it. And we want to come another time to celebrate Christmas."

"Mom doesn't want to let you dictate her holidays. Frankly, I don't blame her. Everyone else has made it work for years. Sorry we're not all fancy doctors."

"What do you want me to say, my job is in Seattle."

"You remind us all the time you're too good to come home. And how much more important your husband's job is than ours."

"What? Daddy's a farmer too. What are you even talking about?"

"I'm talking about you found medicine and an atheist who doesn't respect you enough to tell you he wants you before you walked down the aisle to another man and I'm scared you've lost God and your values."

April was speechless; Jackson could see tears forming behind her eyes. He was done. He tried to kiss her but she pulled away, heading toward her nephews with her baby in her arms. "I love you boys, but me and Bellie are so tired, it's our bedtime." She kissed their foreheads and headed to the nursery. She didn't even make Bellie kiss anyone goodnight.

"Don't call us in a few weeks expecting us to be happy for you." Kimmie screamed at her as she went down the hall.

"I think the night is over, actually. It's everyone's bedtime." Kimmie dared look indignant, but Jackson just took April's lead, saying goodnight to the kids and waiting for everyone to gather their things and huff their frustration before opening the door to his apartment, grinning as he watched them all walk out. The jacked up hotel bill he he'd get three days later totally worth ending the attacks on his wife.

He cleaned up as much as he could, went in the nursery to kiss Arabella goodnight, and knocked on his bedroom door. "Jackson?"

"Yeah. I kicked everyone out and cleaned up, figured you'd want some alone time."

"You don't have to knock, and I don't want to be alone." He entered to find her under covers, negligee strap visible on her shoulder.

"Hi," she grinned.

"Hi. Sorry I didn't defend you too…"

"What are you talking about? You kicked them out. Sometimes I can't help you with Catherine and Harper, either. I get it."

"Yeah but…I should've…"

"Should've what? You were right. It would've been overselling and weird to make you drink stuff for me. Thank you for kicking them out."

"You're welcome. Hey April, I'm sorry about your other wedding I…'

She kissed him. "Shhh….just like with you and your family, nothing they say about you matters to me. I don't even hear it. Stop talking. You earned your Thanksgiving sex this year, whatever you want."

"Whatever I want…what does that mean?" he whispered, climbing on top of her.

"Well, you know, within reason please," she blushed, making her husband laugh out loud. He was very aware of her limits, and only pushed them slowly and carefully.

"Mmm…Ok. I think we're just gonna go really slow though. I know you have a late shift tomorrow."

"We're supposed to go to breakfast with everyone tomorrow."

"You're funny tonight. I think maybe that's canceled."

"Maybe," April shrugged. "But will you be OK if it's not? I know how the Averys work but that's not how we do. Kimmie might call. And only be mad at you for kicking them out."

"Up to you, babe. Whatever you want. He kissed the worried frown off her face. "I love you."

"I love you too, honey. You were amazing today. Thank you."

"Don't thank me yet, it's not over. Revisit that thought in about an hour, maybe even two." It was April's turn to giggle as Jackson pulled down one of her straps and started kissing her shoulder. At this rate, it was going to be a long night, and she was fine with that.


End file.
